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Old 02-05-2014, 10:47 PM
CrowRaven7889 CrowRaven7889 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 10
Default Partner has asked me to have a talk with metamour...

My boyfriend of about six months has asked me to have a "serious chat" about intentions and whatnot with his wife. Apparently she is having some serious jealousy issues and is accusing him of trying to replace her with me. He seems to think that if I talk to her and reassure her that I'm not trying to replace her that it will help. I don't know why but his reassurances don't seem to be enough for her.

Without going into a long drawn out story about the drama that the two of them have created for each other over the last six months, let's just say that I have my doubts about how helpful this is going to be. I think this is a relationship problem between the two of them and the presence of a girlfriend (could be any woman that he fell in love with, in my opinion, and that it's not really about "me") has aggravated whatever baggage that they have in their past.

Nonetheless, I've agreed to meet her for coffee to have a "serious chat." I'm pretty nervous about this conversation. My current plan of action is to tell her that I have no intent of replacing her (or any intent of using her husband as a replacement for my own long-term partner), that I don't see us as rivals or competition, and that I was curious if there was anything that I could do to help.

My fear is that she's going to say "yes, you can stop seeing him." She's already told me one that she was "thinking about" asking him to put our (mine and his) relationship on hold because she thought it was moving too fast. She then turned around and asked me to not tell him this! So I did the only reasonable thing that I could think to do and just placed it in the "red flag - do nothing" folder in my brain.

I'm very much in love with my boyfriend, and while I don't want her to feel bad, I'm not going to end my relationship with him because she's uncomfortable. If he decides to end it with me for that reason, that's a different story altogether and his choice. However, I'm not making a decision about our relationship that he wasn't a part in.

Anyways, I'm not looking forward to this coffee chat at all and was wondering if anyone had any advice to share on this.
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