Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

My ex is a wonderful woman and my daughter is an amazingly talented individual. They are thriving and seam quite happy where they are now in life. I would like to share more of my life with them, but that is not the case currently. Who knows what the future will bring though? This is a success and happiness thread after all!

I'm now wondering why I even asked. Was I trying to pick holes in your happy life, just cos I'm struggling and want everyone else to be struggling too?
 
No worries, Midnight. We monos are a funny bunch and you are in a different situation than me. I feel for you. Take care and keep your face to the sun, where the warmth is. :)
 
You guys are inspiring. I hope you keep posting, because on days like today, I really need a happy inspiring story. Some days are tough.
Nothing major in our lives is going WRONG. It just feels like nothing is going right, either. But you give me hope.
 
No worries, Midnight. We monos are a funny bunch and you are in a different situation than me. I feel for you. Take care and keep your face to the sun, where the warmth is. :)

You are very kind.

You know what? People tell me I hide my light. I should maybe let you know that life is not always as bad as I paint it (though sometimes it feels that way).

My husband of nearly 30 years is totally in love with me. He is kinda in love with this other woman, but she's definitely secondary. He does seem to love me better since he fell for her (a couple of years ago). We probably will meet as a threesome to discover whether there's any prospect of making something work between us three, but my husband is now saying that if she's not up for it (respecting the primacy of his marriage and our family), then it will have to end.

I am beginning to learn something about my jealousy, also. I don't doubt he loves me. I seem to be envious of something he has that I don't. This seems to go back to me being a twin. I was always kinda jealous of her, thought she was prettier than me. (We are identical twins!) I was the clingy one. She the one who was lookin out more.

If I could possibly overcome my possessiveness and turn outwards myself, who knows what might be out there waiting for me?

Love to you all.
 
Not a big post. I'm just happy and in love, rejuvenated, connected and ready to build an even better life with my Lilo and chosen family. :)
 
My mum invited Mono to my brother's girlfriend's birthday lunch party! Okay, she is probably doing it begrudgingly, and grumbling under breath, and will ignore him and be super fake. But I am happy that at least she is backing down and including us. :D
 
OH YAY! I hope it's not too awkward and she behaves herself. Maybe the therapist got her thinking a little. I hope she's really turning around.
 
I wish you guys luck. I'm sure your mum would not want to ruin a perfectly good party and probably would not have invited Mono if there were too many people against the relationship and would have a problem with him being there. :)
 
My mum dropped my boy off at the door tonight after taking him out, the first I've seen of her. She looked sheepish and uncertain. I was compelled to hug her, so I did. I told her I was glad to see her and smiled. She hugged me back and let out a long sigh. I'm not sure what it meant, but I think it was good. :) The ice is breaking in her anti-poly heart, perhaps?

Mono stopped by on the way home from a long ride and visit with his friends. He stopped for a mere 2 minutes, long enough for me to wrap my arms around him, tell him I love him and give him a kiss straight from my heart to his. I can't bear not to see him once a day. Those two minutes were all I needed to connect and feel him on my skin as I smoothed his face, all I needed to feel whole for another day.

I love him so dearly. No one can take that away from me and I won't change it for anything in the world. He is my home and my family.
 
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I can't bear not to see him once a day. Those two minutes were all I needed to connect and feel him on my skin as I smoothed his face.

I love him so dearly. No one can take that away from me and I won't change it for anything in the world. He is my home and my family.

Speechless. You really do love me like that. I'm honored and blessed. Thanks, Lilo.
 
Sounds like mom is breaking down, slowly. Just trust that she loves you and your family more than she dislikes the idea of you being poly. And it sounds like you're able to disconnect from the pain and anger and still love her and treat her as your mom. Very inspiring. Keep it up. You're an amazing woman and if anyone can make this work out, it's you.
 
Well, I had posted somewhere (can't remember), that I had planned to go out with LR's other love this week and have a talk about the relationship between the two of us. We talked for a few hours, had a drink and then came home. I felt better getting my feelings and thoughts out in the open with him. I'm still fighting some insecurities and fears but I'm not reacting to my issues anymore. LR and I have gotten much better at talking things through. I think in time, C and I will become very close.

The three of us are planning to go out tonight and have some fun. Sis-in-law is watching the kids.
 
Last night I made an awesome discovery. A lot of stuff has been piling up lately and, as per the norm, Redpepper and I did lots of self-analysis and checked in seriously with each other. We gave each other the freedom and choice to take different paths and change the nature of our love's expression. We have done this several times, and once again we chose to love each other the way we are meant to.

My connection and energy were both withdrawn, though, and we both knew it. Physically I can't hide it. "Nothing happens," shall we say. :eek: I'm completely non-sexual when not intimately connected to someone. (I would make the worst porn star!)

Because I hate being withdrawn and I know it hurts her, as well, I tried something different. I showed her where my energy and connection resides inside me and asked her to help me let it out. I placed her hand there, and as she spoke to me about what she felt and how much this means to her, we were able to open it up, free my connection and let her into me.

She knows when I am not accepting her love and when I am not connected and withdrawn. Now I feel as though we have a way of consciously working together when that happens. That, for me, is another success!!
 
I showed her where I feel my energy and connection resides inside me, and asked her to help me let it out. I placed her hand there and as she spoke to me about what she felt and how much this means to her, we were able to open it up, free my connection and let her into me.


And no, this was not my crotch. You polys and your dirty minds! :rolleyes:
 
My connection and energy were both withdrawn though and we both knew it. Physically I can't hide it. "Nothing happens," shall we say. I'm completely non-sexual when not intimately connected to someone. (I would make the worst porn star!)

Interesting to hear someone else put it so bluntly. I have the exact same problem, but it's selective. Very strange. I seldom have a problem with it for a straight-up one night stand, or strictly sexual encounter. But when I have a new interest that is developing, sex can be... challenging, lol. I can be aroused as all hell and nothing happens. Or it will start out great, then "he" loses interest halfway through, independently of the rest of me! Grr. I'm happy to perform other ways, so it's rarely a problem, but it drives me crazy! Likewise, when I'm with my love, if there are problems or I don't feel that she's into it, I can't perform. But when all is well, well, no problems, lol. This only developed after my marriage crashed and burned about 5 years ago. Weird.

Anyway, I am glad to hear you two have found yet another way to connect. Better and better. :)
 
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Very strange. I seldom have a problem with it for a straight-up one night stand or strictly sexual encounter.

I'm not that surprised. I think most guys are quite capable of that. I certainly thought I would be. Turns out, nope! When I think back to even my early teens, I was like this. I just didn't realize what was happening.

It took me 37 years, a 17 year marriage, an affair, a meltdown of biblical proportions, counselling, a polyamorous relationship and tonnes of self-analysis to figure out a simple concept: no connection = nothing to "connect" with. :eek:
 
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