MsEmotional
Member
For those who raised their minor children while being openly polyamorous ...
1. What issues (if any) did your polyamorous lifestyle create for your children?
2. What proactive measures (if any) did you take to ensure that any negative issues were minimized?
I ask because my in-laws have known about us being polyamorous for 9 months now and they haven't warmed up to the idea at all. Given the fact that they came around to the fact that their daughter is gay and their son is bi with (relative) ease, I figured they would eventually accept our relationship choice as well. But there has been really no movement on that front. Their concerns (at least, as they have been stated), are all about the welfare of our children. For the life of me, I can't really figure out why.
Last week, when my mother-in-law picked up on the fact that all five of us (me, Glasses, our two kids, and Ponytail) would all be going somewhere together for lunch, she bent over backward to ensure that the kids stayed over at her house instead. Glasses pointed out to me that the kids have lunch with me and Ponytail alone at least once a week. The only reason we happened to mention this particular lunch was because all five of us would be taking the same car and therefore we needed to borrow a narrower carseat. So, ironically, they freaked precisely because it was abundantly clear that their son was going to be there too.
It got me thinking. What is it that they are afraid of? I keep trying to figure out what negative impacts this lifestyle could have on our kids and I just honestly can't come up with any. As a teacher, I have come across kids in all kinds of unusual family shapes and sizes and it just doesn't seem like a big deal. Is there something I'm missing?
They seem to think it is obvious why we shouldn't "expose" the kids to this "lifestyle." I don't really know what it is that they think is so obvious though?
Am I being really naive? Are there issues that I should be more cognizant of?
Edited to Add: Just to be clear, I am wondering what kinds of issues could arise for the kid. I am definitely aware of the struggles of parenting and polyamory (schedules, coordinating childcare coverage, etc) from the parent perspective.
1. What issues (if any) did your polyamorous lifestyle create for your children?
2. What proactive measures (if any) did you take to ensure that any negative issues were minimized?
I ask because my in-laws have known about us being polyamorous for 9 months now and they haven't warmed up to the idea at all. Given the fact that they came around to the fact that their daughter is gay and their son is bi with (relative) ease, I figured they would eventually accept our relationship choice as well. But there has been really no movement on that front. Their concerns (at least, as they have been stated), are all about the welfare of our children. For the life of me, I can't really figure out why.
Last week, when my mother-in-law picked up on the fact that all five of us (me, Glasses, our two kids, and Ponytail) would all be going somewhere together for lunch, she bent over backward to ensure that the kids stayed over at her house instead. Glasses pointed out to me that the kids have lunch with me and Ponytail alone at least once a week. The only reason we happened to mention this particular lunch was because all five of us would be taking the same car and therefore we needed to borrow a narrower carseat. So, ironically, they freaked precisely because it was abundantly clear that their son was going to be there too.
It got me thinking. What is it that they are afraid of? I keep trying to figure out what negative impacts this lifestyle could have on our kids and I just honestly can't come up with any. As a teacher, I have come across kids in all kinds of unusual family shapes and sizes and it just doesn't seem like a big deal. Is there something I'm missing?
They seem to think it is obvious why we shouldn't "expose" the kids to this "lifestyle." I don't really know what it is that they think is so obvious though?
Am I being really naive? Are there issues that I should be more cognizant of?
Edited to Add: Just to be clear, I am wondering what kinds of issues could arise for the kid. I am definitely aware of the struggles of parenting and polyamory (schedules, coordinating childcare coverage, etc) from the parent perspective.
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