Thread: Hello from NY!
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Old 10-23-2009, 08:11 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,023

Originally Posted by MRC2009 View Post
Here are the rules that I have written down: 1) At NO time will any other female become pregnant by my husband. 2) NO unprotected sex!! Ever->For no reason! No glove, No LOVE!!! 3)At this current moment I am not comfortable with sleepovers. At no time have I told him to be only monogamous with me. Nor have I told him that he can't sleep with anyone else. Though I did ask that he not just sleep with anyone and everyone.
These all sound very familiar...and as I think someone else has already mentioned, well within the realm of reasonable given your family situation and of course prudent sexual health precautions. I continue to wonder about your husbands motivations. (This is actually me being overly civil and polite where greenearthal I think beat me to most of the words I might otherwise use)

Originally Posted by MRC2009 View Post
I can tell you that I would NOT take on a BF for show & tell, Payback or equity. I consider myself monogamous, though I'm not against trying something new. Everything is so new for me right now. I honestly don't know if I could ever have a BF or GF. I guess only time will tell!
It can be a lot to wrap your head around, and can take some time to sort out. You should take your time coming to whatever decision is true to you...for now. (Because sometimes things change...and sometimes they don't)
As an aside, I can't be sure since text is a lousy indicator of tone, but I hope my questions aren't being taken personally. I have a habit of looking for hard and sometimes uncomfortable questions that I think might need to be asked...that doesn't mean I want an answer or am drawing conclusions. They're just things I think of that might benefit someone like you who might need to answer the questions for themselves. Only share as much as you like.

Originally Posted by MRC2009 View Post
My husband originally had a therapist that was "open minded" but she had never heard of Polyamory before. It doesn't matter because my husband broke her trust and she wouldn't see him (or us) anymore. So he gave me the task of finding someone new for us to see. I was able to find us someone who is open minded and knows what Poly is.
Your husband seems to be headed for title 'piece of work' if he is offloading the therapist search on you...especially if he broke the last one. I'll stop now...and hopefully greenearthal can find a more accurate and eloquent way to discribe what I'm thinking again.

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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