so being so new to this makes it a little too easy to highlight the challenges, but I wanted to take some time to focus on the good things about the lifestyle and get some positive energy going. So... here's what I like about polyamory:
1) TOTAL Honesty - This is the first time I have been able to say that I trust my SO because there are no secrets. Long gone are the days of me wondering where he is or what (or who) he's doing, because he tells me. He is more available to me in another state than ANY man that I have dated that lived close to me. Seriously, I dated a guy that lived 10 minutes from me and he would get miraculously missing. I don't have that type of insecure drama in this relationship
2) FREEDOM - In SO many areas. Freedom to have an open mind, not be judged... freedom from guilt. I can go have coffee, dinner, or catch a movie with another man and not feel like I am cheating. I don't feel like my life revolves around this man and that I have to monitor my every move. I don't feel "owned" or "trapped"
3) RESPECT - Enough said. The fact that the success of this relationship is built on honesty and communication means that mutual respect is essential. I don't feel like an object. Rather, I am respected for the other qualities I bring into the relationship other than sex.
4) Prospect of loving more than one - this can go so many ways. I am not gaining ONE lover or friend or SO, but could potentially connect to the other people in his life and generate additional, strong relationships
I'm sure there will be more as time goes on (I haven't fully wrapped myself around number 4 yet, but I know it's coming). All I know is that even though transistioning from mono to poly comes with challenges, it seems to make sense to me especially in this "mono" delusion where I see SO many people that are unhappy and sticking around out of obligation.
The one thing I know is that my SO is with me because he WANTS to be. Neither of us has the pressure of being each other's everything. Rather, we have the freedom to have our needs fulfilled and with multiple people if needed, and that's OK.
Yes, it's new, but the prospects of growing as a poly excite me, and I know that as time goes on, I will become more comfortable with the changes and challenges that come along with such an intriguing lifestyle.
Nothing extraordinary comes easily and I'm up to the challenge.
OK... enough warm and fuzzies!!!
1) TOTAL Honesty - This is the first time I have been able to say that I trust my SO because there are no secrets. Long gone are the days of me wondering where he is or what (or who) he's doing, because he tells me. He is more available to me in another state than ANY man that I have dated that lived close to me. Seriously, I dated a guy that lived 10 minutes from me and he would get miraculously missing. I don't have that type of insecure drama in this relationship
2) FREEDOM - In SO many areas. Freedom to have an open mind, not be judged... freedom from guilt. I can go have coffee, dinner, or catch a movie with another man and not feel like I am cheating. I don't feel like my life revolves around this man and that I have to monitor my every move. I don't feel "owned" or "trapped"
3) RESPECT - Enough said. The fact that the success of this relationship is built on honesty and communication means that mutual respect is essential. I don't feel like an object. Rather, I am respected for the other qualities I bring into the relationship other than sex.
4) Prospect of loving more than one - this can go so many ways. I am not gaining ONE lover or friend or SO, but could potentially connect to the other people in his life and generate additional, strong relationships
I'm sure there will be more as time goes on (I haven't fully wrapped myself around number 4 yet, but I know it's coming). All I know is that even though transistioning from mono to poly comes with challenges, it seems to make sense to me especially in this "mono" delusion where I see SO many people that are unhappy and sticking around out of obligation.
The one thing I know is that my SO is with me because he WANTS to be. Neither of us has the pressure of being each other's everything. Rather, we have the freedom to have our needs fulfilled and with multiple people if needed, and that's OK.
Yes, it's new, but the prospects of growing as a poly excite me, and I know that as time goes on, I will become more comfortable with the changes and challenges that come along with such an intriguing lifestyle.
Nothing extraordinary comes easily and I'm up to the challenge.
OK... enough warm and fuzzies!!!