View Single Post
Old 05-19-2012, 10:13 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Adam View Post
...I'm not sure I nor my wife are poly, but it's an exciting proposition that we're starting to consider.
It should be exciting! Yes!

It's great that you feel that way and are exploring poly together with lots of discussion and research before dipping your toes in. Less damage control that way. I don't think enough people or couples out there take the time to fully examine and talk about it beforehand, and then they wind up with lots of hurt feelings to deal with because someone jumped in too fast or without establishing boundaries. Tristan Taormino wrote an awesome book called Opening Up that you may like, and she has some excellent checklists you can use to determine if/how you want to incorporate polyamory into your lives, and how to set boundaries. You can download them here:

I also wanted to say that you don't need to "identify" as poly people in order to embrace polyamory. It can be simply a structure for relationships that you want in your life. I personally approach it as a practice, but I identify as neither polyamorous nor monogamous. To me, those words apply to relationships, not people. My point is that there are a gazillion ways to conduct ethical non-monogamous relationships, and it sounds like you are in a good place to look at how you can make it work for you.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-19-2012 at 10:18 PM.
Reply With Quote