Poly journey of Mya and rory

Such problems you have... :cool: Although, you should definitely make a graph. Even I have trouble following despite the fact that I have a grasp of the people you're talking about. ;)

I tried. :p I started making one, but it got too difficult, mainly because I hate defining other people's relationships. People are connected to each other in such different ways.. And is sex the defining thing? Or a romantic relationship? I heard that Gemma and Casper (who are metamours/friends) actually spend way more time with each other than neither of them do with Felix. :D This gets way too complicated to draw. :rolleyes:

It's so easy to hang out with poly people, it makes the whole concept of "stealing somebody's date" kind of absurd. :D

So true, that's what made her comment so funny. :p

I'm really enjoying the whole compersion thing at the moment. It makes me smile to see Mya so happy about all she's got going on. Plus, it seems the people involved are all really cool. It looks like I'll be getting a chance to meet Gemma in a week and Evan a bit later. I'm looking forward to it. :)

Aaw, that's really nice to hear. :) And yes, I'm also glad you get to meet at least Evan and Gemma soon!
 
Oh man, polysaturation! I've been thinking of this too. I think it's just really hard to know until you've got to the limit. And then, you'll know. The trick is to keep it manageable I guess? Good luck with yours, rory :)
 
^ I was writing a reply to your journal at the same time as you did here. :D I assume you meant me and not rory with the "good luck with polysaturation" thing? I think you're right that you just know when you've hit the limit, but I'm afraid to even start any kind of thing with anyone else because I don't know how much I'd be able to give. But I guess these are kinda nice problems to have after all. :p
 
Haha, whoops! Yeah, I did mean you Mya. I thought I'd got it right... let's blame that on 2.40am. No, I'm not polysaturated at all :eek:

And yup, these are kind of awesome problems to have. Can't really complain, ha.
 
^ Haha, not at all distracted I see! :D Well that happens. ;)

I read the articles fuchka linked to her journal about polysaturation. Good food for thought. I realised something. The time and energy available depend on so much more than just relationships. Well obviously I've known this before, but I hadn't really thought about my specific situation from that point of view. My work situation varies a lot, sometimes I have my hands full of work (working overtime on evenings and weekends) and sometimes I have a whole month of doing nothing. So that has to have an impact on this. Right now I have a slow phase at work so that's what makes me think I could maybe handle a little something else. But as soon as work picks up again it might even be difficult to find time for the two partners I have now, plus hobbies and friends. Hmm, that really got me thinking that I might have reached my polysaturation point already. I need to have some room for busier times at work so that I can still keep my relationships healthy then.
 
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Eee, just wanted to say that I'm so happy you guys had a good vacation, and so happy for you, Mya, that you're falling in with good new folks! Sounds absolutely lovely. :) :)
 
Thank you Annabel. :) Got to say that life is pretty good at the moment!

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Me and rory are going to a party this weekend. Gemma is going to be there and Casper probably as well. I'm really looking forward to it! Right after the weekend we've arranged a day for rory and Evan to meet. I'm really excited about that but somehow not nervous at all. They're both so great, and knowing their personalities and tastes I can't imagine them not getting along. :)

I've noticed something interesting. Although me and rory are very similar in most things, our biggest difference is the introvert/extrovert thing and our energy levels. And that happens to be something where me and Evan are very similar. Like me, he also has a lot of energy, an active social life, a lot of friends (and feels quite easy to get to know new people) and not much need for alone time. I find this interesting now that I've gotten used to rory's ways and actually on some level JJ's ways as well. I'm not sure if JJ would be classified as an extrovert or introvert, but I do know that he liked his alone time and needed it more than me. One thing I love about poly is the variety and I like noticing these differences. They're not good or bad, just observations. Interesting times. :)
 
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The party was great, both me and rory had a very good time! :) Rory met Gemma and Casper, everyone got along really well. Casper is adorable. I had almost forgotten about that because I hadn't seen him in a while, but now the feeling came back and I have to admit that I still am crushing on him a little. I'm quite sure he's not feeling the same, so I'll just enjoy his company when I happen to see him and that's it.

There's this guy I've met a few times before in meetups and parties and always thought he's nice and attractive. Actually the first time I met him was the first time I also met Casper, so a few months ago now. Back then I thought that both of them were really interesting but I didn't want to contact both of them at the same time after the meetup, so I ended up just contacting Casper. Now this guy was at the party as well. Let's call him Hank. He was also at the last party I wrote about. He told me that at some point last time he was looking for me and then noticed that I was in a pile of people and didn't want to disturb. :eek: Okay, so last time I only talked to him briefly, but this time I got some more time to get to know him. I told him that at the last party I made out with a bunch of people and he said he hasn't made out with anyone in quite a while now. I told him that he should just ask someone if he wants to make out with them. I had mentioned to rory earlier in the evening that I think he's interesting, so after that comment rory looked at me in a certain way and kinda coughed loudly. :p So after that I asked Hank if he wanted to make out, and he did. Yay for encouraging girlfriends! :D Then rory started bossing us around and made us kiss some more and told him he should touch my boobs. She was being very dom-y, it was interesting and kinda hot. :cool: Hank seemed a little confused at first, but went for it. Me and Hank ended up making out quite a lot during the evening and rory seemed to enjoy looking at us. At one point I was kissing Hank and rory was kissing my neck, that felt amazing! My life is just too good to be true. :p At some point he had to go to sleep and we exchanged phone numbers to hopefully see each other again. He doesn't live in Dream City though, so it'll probably be a while until that happens. We'll see. Anyway, life is good. :cool:

And today rory and Evan are both coming to my place to meet each other! I'm so very excited! :)
 
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"My life is just too good to be true."

Heheheh, this is exactly what Gia says when both Dex and I are kissing on her. :D I often remind her -- you did all the work to make it this way!
 
This link doesn't work, fyi. I googled for it and the all the links to that article seem not to work. Weird.

Oh, that's a shame. :( It was a really good article.

"My life is just too good to be true."

Heheheh, this is exactly what Gia says when both Dex and I are kissing on her. :D I often remind her -- you did all the work to make it this way!

I guess you're right. :) Yay me! :D
 
Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life. :) I actually cried of happiness!

Evan and rory met for the first time. It was like they had known each other for 10 years or something. They got along perfectly, we were talking and laughing so much the whole time. They both told me that the other is an awesome person. I have a good taste apparently. :D I was also texting with Hank and we're seeing each other later this month, the next time he's in town. :) On top of all that, I just got a new permanent job! :) I've been working as a freelancer for quite a while now and this is a really good career opportunity. I've longed for the stability of a permanent job and now I got it. It is a respected company, the office is quite close to my home and everything about that job sounds so good. :)

There is absolutely nothing in my life that I would change right now. Wow. I'm just overwhelmed with joy. :)
 
Hey!! Brilliance on all fronts :D So happy for you right now. Esp congrats on the job, makes a whole lot of things fall into place in my experience
 
Yes, major congrats!!! What an amazing place to be in, I'm smiling wide at my screen as I type this. :) :)
 
I've quit work for a while, and I'm finally starting to feel like a person again. Thanks to everybody who's commented here, I'm not going to reply to all, but I really enjoy getting comments. :)

Now what to write? All kinds of awesomeness is going on. :p It's lucky I share this journal with Mya so she's been updating everybody.

We've been poly for nearly two years now, and the honeymoon phase with poly has ended some time ago. Things have been simply pleasant and satisfying and happy. I'm living my life without much thinking about the fact that I'm poly. Polyish relationship assumptions are becoming so normalised in my head that I do often forget how very differently things are seen in mainstream. I welcome these developments, they feel pleasant.

Actually, a relationship with a person is a good analogy for poly. I immensely enjoy NRE and getting to know them, but I enjoy a highly developed and nurtured connection to somebody even more. I love it when things are good and effortless and pleasant and satisfying. That's where I am with both of my partners, and that's also where I am with poly.

However, (to stretch the analogy further) I also really enjoy getting reminded about the aspects of why I love somebody. I've actually had a lot of moments like these during the last week both with my partners and with poly, and I'll write some in random order.

I met my new metamour Evan and he is a really cool awesome guy. Not that I was expecting anything else from what I'd heard from Mya. She does have the best taste. :cool: I feel he also brings out some aspects of Mya that I really love seeing (queer stuff etc.). Those have been there earlier too, obviously, but who you spend time with naturally affects what kind of aspects of yourself get emphasised. I love seeing Mya so happy, and I feel she is really in her element with everything she's got going on (a facet of which is her relationship with Evan). So happy and excited and open. It is hard to tell where compersion ends and my own happiness starts, but anyway, loving this.

This kind of thing is also why I love poly. New, great people in your partner's life are also in your life to the extent you want them to be (and they want to be). Indirectly, at least, but also possibly directly. And seeing new sides of your partner means you get to know them better (always really really great) and if they are good things (as they've been for me) it also makes you love the person you're with even more. :)

Much of what I'm feeling with Mya right now I'm also experiencing with Alec. For him it's not because of poly things, but he's setting roots here in Dream City, developing potential friendships with people he's meeting. And I feel changes in him, in that kind of way which allows me to see sides of him I really really like. In a way these are, again, things that have been in him already, but it's like he's thriving in the atmosphere he's in and really good aspects of his personality get emphasised. It feels like he's more comfortable with himself, and more openly sharing things about himself with others. This can be seen in how he relates to me, but even more starkly with how he relates to other people. I really love to see him deepen the connections he already has and see him relate to people more comfortably. We've finally had time to really talk and connect during this last week, and I'm reminded about the things I love about him.

That's also why my vacation with Mya was really lovely, besides the relaxing. It gave us a chance to connect really deeply.

Plus, not poly related but there are friends of mine who are also doing really happy and awesome and I'm totally digging compersion there too. Yay!

Lots of love in my life, lots of happiness.

Oh yeah, and in addition to the broad strokes above, I also need to say that this whole thing

So after that I asked Hank if he wanted to make out, and he did. Yay for encouraging girlfriends! :D Then rory started bossing us around and made us kiss some more and told him he should touch my boobs. She was being very dom-y, it was interesting and kinda hot. :cool: Hank seemed a little confused at first, but went for it. Me and Hank ended up making out quite a lot during the evening and rory seemed to enjoy looking at us. At one point I was kissing Hank and rory was kissing my neck, that felt amazing! My life is just too good to be true. :p

really, surprisingly, incredibly hot and awesome and enjoyable. Whoa. :p
 
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Thank you fuchka and Annabel! :)

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I visited Home Country recently. The trip was quite an emotional rollercoaster, some sad times and some happy times. The sad times were related to other people's situations, so won't get into them here. But overall it went quite well. I met up with both JJ and Bob during the trip. I'm happy that me and JJ have managed to stay really good friends. :) We still keep in touch at least once a week, usually more than that. I love hearing how he's doing and what's happening in his life. He seems happy for me when I talk about all the good things happening in my life. I'm grateful for his presence in my life, grateful that I didn't lose him when we broke up. He still is an amazing person and I care about him a lot.

Meeting Bob was interesting. That man has always had the ability to make me confused and this time was no exception. We met for lunch and I only had an hour before I needed to go somewhere else. In that time he managed to make a joke that made me question whether he has changed his mind about what he wants from me. Well, that doesn't really matter right now since we only see each other every few months when I visit Home Country. But anyway, it was really nice to see him. :)
 
I've been chatting with Hank today. We had made plans earlier to meet up in a couple of weeks when he's coming to Dream City for the weekend. Now we made some more specific plans for the weekend. It's quite an interesting situation. Gemma is having a party then and she hasn't invited me. That is totally understandable, we haven't spent that much time together one-on-one. She has invited both Evan and Hank though and apparently people are allowed to invite other people, so Hank just invited me. I don't know if Evan was going to invite me as well since I haven't talked to him about this party much, he just mentioned in passing some time ago that Gemma was planning to have one. Apparently Casper and Felix are coming as well. Me and Hank just made plans to meet up before the party, hang out a bit just the two of us and then go to the party together. I'm pretty sure Evan is going as well, so we'll probably meet him there. Since Felix and Hank don't live in Dream City and me and Evan don't have the opportunity to see them that often, I think me and Evan will be concentrating on the non-local people more than each other. It will be nice though - Evan will have 3 out of 4 of his people there and I'll have 2 out of 3. With "his people" I mean the people he's interested in. I still don't know what the deal is between him and Gemma or him and Felix. Let alone me and Hank, we've never spent time one-on-one before, so at this stage I can only say that I'm interested in him, he seems cool, is attractive and a good kisser. :cool: So we'll see what happens!

Oh and also, I get to finally meet Dena in a couple of days. Me, rory, Evan and Dena are all attending a queer event. I'm really excited about that! :)
 
Haha "his people"! I can't help imagining a moment in the party when you send your people to negotiate with his people... Oh wait, that means he will be negotiating with his own people, um, ok poly is confusing sometimes :p
 
Haha "his people"! I can't help imagining a moment in the party when you send your people to negotiate with his people... Oh wait, that means he will be negotiating with his own people, um, ok poly is confusing sometimes :p

You crack me up, fuchka! :D :D
 
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