hapigoth316
New member
My partner and I have been together nearly 3 years, we are engaged and we have a 12 week old daughter.
Less than 2 weeks ago my partner told me that he wants to be polyamorous. The following day he was on a chat site and just decided to gauge people's reactions to him stating he is poly. He began chatting with a single woman who is interested in being his secondary. However, we as a duo had agreed not to pursue anything until after Christmas when we had chance to discuss what we feel we both need and how we feel it will affect us as a family and a couple.
He has started talking to her on a daily basis and is already sharing himself between us and has said he will meet her in the new year (We had already agreed he could meet next year but hand't agreed when). I suffer from depression (he also has despression and aspergers) and it has hit me hard that he feels he needs a secondary partner, but when our conversations always seem to be about what he needs and when I say that I feel that he needs to back away from her and concentrate on us and both of us being ok to pursue a third he says I am being a B**** and I am selfish.
He also lied to her about how I feel about the whole situation. Am I wrong for asking him to take time out to concentrate on us and our relationship before persuing a third?
Also did most people find that they were in triads before dicussing it or was it discussed and then pursued?
One last thing I feel I should point out is that he has tried this twice before once with me being a primary and once with me being a secondary and both times he ended it due to distance and the primary admitting she no longer loved him.
Less than 2 weeks ago my partner told me that he wants to be polyamorous. The following day he was on a chat site and just decided to gauge people's reactions to him stating he is poly. He began chatting with a single woman who is interested in being his secondary. However, we as a duo had agreed not to pursue anything until after Christmas when we had chance to discuss what we feel we both need and how we feel it will affect us as a family and a couple.
He has started talking to her on a daily basis and is already sharing himself between us and has said he will meet her in the new year (We had already agreed he could meet next year but hand't agreed when). I suffer from depression (he also has despression and aspergers) and it has hit me hard that he feels he needs a secondary partner, but when our conversations always seem to be about what he needs and when I say that I feel that he needs to back away from her and concentrate on us and both of us being ok to pursue a third he says I am being a B**** and I am selfish.
He also lied to her about how I feel about the whole situation. Am I wrong for asking him to take time out to concentrate on us and our relationship before persuing a third?
Also did most people find that they were in triads before dicussing it or was it discussed and then pursued?
One last thing I feel I should point out is that he has tried this twice before once with me being a primary and once with me being a secondary and both times he ended it due to distance and the primary admitting she no longer loved him.