newtopoly56
New member
I don't really know how to do this or where to begin but the person who recommended that I do this just told me to tell my 'story,' so here goes the summarized version;
I met a married couple online and we started dating from February of last year. I met them later in August of that year and things were amazing until things didn't work out with the husband and I a little while after I got back home. I'm still seeing his wife and am very, VERY much in love with her, but she's going through her own stuff with another girl and her monogamous boyfriend (my partner and this girl are both in love with each other, but her boyfriend isn't having it and that's a whole other thing that I don't think is necessary to go into).
I just feel like I'm having trouble being able to support or help her really in any way from here when she's so far away (I'm in the US and she's in Asia), and I find myself feeling more worthless and useless to her as time goes by and things continue to stay difficult/get even harder to deal with.
She and her husband are working on having me come over as much as possible until I can find a job of my own, and hopefully I can find a way to eventually live with the two of them along with his girlfriend (we're all cool/good friends but sometimes I still struggle with jealousy/envy). I do think of that and most of the time it does remind me that she loves me a lot or she wouldn't be doing this in the first place, but when issues with her other situation come up, especially when I am powerless to help, I do struggle with seeing why she'd want me.
My username makes this statement redundant, but I'm still pretty new to polyamory. Meeting this couple last year introduced me to it and while I'm pretty sure I'm poly, because I am in love with both of them, it can be really hard for me to feel important or needed, or sometimes even wanted with the position that my partner is in with this other girl.
Any advice out there for learning how to accept that I can't give as much of anything as I want to from this distance on top of feeling like I'm not enough for my partner?
I met a married couple online and we started dating from February of last year. I met them later in August of that year and things were amazing until things didn't work out with the husband and I a little while after I got back home. I'm still seeing his wife and am very, VERY much in love with her, but she's going through her own stuff with another girl and her monogamous boyfriend (my partner and this girl are both in love with each other, but her boyfriend isn't having it and that's a whole other thing that I don't think is necessary to go into).
I just feel like I'm having trouble being able to support or help her really in any way from here when she's so far away (I'm in the US and she's in Asia), and I find myself feeling more worthless and useless to her as time goes by and things continue to stay difficult/get even harder to deal with.
She and her husband are working on having me come over as much as possible until I can find a job of my own, and hopefully I can find a way to eventually live with the two of them along with his girlfriend (we're all cool/good friends but sometimes I still struggle with jealousy/envy). I do think of that and most of the time it does remind me that she loves me a lot or she wouldn't be doing this in the first place, but when issues with her other situation come up, especially when I am powerless to help, I do struggle with seeing why she'd want me.
My username makes this statement redundant, but I'm still pretty new to polyamory. Meeting this couple last year introduced me to it and while I'm pretty sure I'm poly, because I am in love with both of them, it can be really hard for me to feel important or needed, or sometimes even wanted with the position that my partner is in with this other girl.
Any advice out there for learning how to accept that I can't give as much of anything as I want to from this distance on top of feeling like I'm not enough for my partner?