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Old 08-07-2013, 01:26 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,598

Originally Posted by idealist View Post
The people i have encountered that identify as poly have been full of drama and their relationships aren't working so well. The people i know who identify as swingers are ethical, emotionally mature, in healthy long term relationships, stable, fun
This hasn't been my experience. My experience has been that the rare people or group who are emotionally responsible and are not control freaks tend to have a better shot at fulfilling relationships. Everyone else has lots of drama and infighting because the people involved are navigating their power dynamics and trying to figure out how to do anything but deal with their own emotional baggage.

Externalizing personal responsibility isn't related to poly any more than it is to swinging; both camps excel at it.

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility
I'd rather say what is going on for me than assume that the other person knows... a bit of clear communication can be helpful.
I don't disagree with anything you said in particular, IP. I suppose my distinction would be that while I do agree that clear communication is a boon in any healthy relationship, I would add the caveat that prior to the communication being initiated, one should be certain that the message they are intending to send is the same as the one they are sending.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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