NovemberRain
New member
Well. July is not quite magickally better. I am in complete and total burn-out. I am drowning in my work. And today, either my computer is fail at work, or my eyes are fail. I don't think it's my eyes, because they seem to work just fine at home.
I still haven't been in a room with both of them. CBF arranged his life so he wouldn't show up. I was queasy all day Friday (and had a headache like an alien trying to birth itself out of my spine and into my skull), but fine on Saturday. Rearranged furniture, cleaned house, it was great. Woke up at 4:30am Sunday morning, thought I might die. I lost five pounds in ten hours. (found out Monday, my ex-boss lost 8, but he was barfing)
I called FBF and told him he wasn't obligated to come, as I might be really bad company. We had a little discussion and he said 'what do YOU want?' 'I want to see your fuzzy face!' So, he drove up here, 2.5-3 hour drive, in triple digit heat with no air conditioning. [did I mention I adore him?] and I asked him to bring me gatorade and a banana. He brought powerade (which turns out, I like just as much) and three bananas.
I managed to get myself bathed, sort of dressed, and the house finished, before he arrived. We went out for chinese food (well, yah, he did). I thought I could have a bit of steamed rice. Put won ton soup broth on the rice ~ so very tasty.
We had a freak thunderstorm at 3am ish. We have a hard time sleeping together. He's unaccustomed to another in the bed and irritates easily (not like gets pissed off at me, just doesn't stay asleep). He also likes to wrap himself around me and then to have both of us not move for 8 hours. My body can't do that. I move a lot in my sleep. So, it's a challenge.
5:30am, knock on my door. Unbelievable. It was the police. Looking for CBF. 'He doesn't live here anymore.' I vaguely said where he was (I honestly didn't know his apartment number. I was telling the man how to get there and he interrupted me to ask if I knew the number. I said no, and quit volunteering info). I asked if he was in trouble, and he mentioned what the complaint was. I really don't think he did it; but it's not out of the realm of possibility. He could have been in a blackout. Worst part? He then asks me if I'm his mother. I said, 'no, I'm his girlfriend.' [technically, I could be his mother. sometimes I have more issue with it than others]
Then I got to go back to bed and tell FBF the story. Which was just so weird. And normal. At the same time. Then we couldn't go back to sleep and pondered what on earth we would do.
LOVELY. And then we finally got a few more hours of pretty good sleep.
The fair was fun, even if I couldn't enjoy all the crappy food I wanted to. I almost, but resisted, bought a stupid large expensive thing. (many years ago, CBF and I bought our first bed together at the fair ~ never again. Was a good bed, still have it, but the experience was distasteful all around)
CBF has other troubles in his life, but I do think he's a little freaked out at three of us together. Otherwise, he would not have blown us off. He's not coughing up whatever he needs to, and I'm too tired to even try to drag it out of him.
Again, I remind myself: They move glacially, and a bit more river-like.
I still haven't been in a room with both of them. CBF arranged his life so he wouldn't show up. I was queasy all day Friday (and had a headache like an alien trying to birth itself out of my spine and into my skull), but fine on Saturday. Rearranged furniture, cleaned house, it was great. Woke up at 4:30am Sunday morning, thought I might die. I lost five pounds in ten hours. (found out Monday, my ex-boss lost 8, but he was barfing)
I called FBF and told him he wasn't obligated to come, as I might be really bad company. We had a little discussion and he said 'what do YOU want?' 'I want to see your fuzzy face!' So, he drove up here, 2.5-3 hour drive, in triple digit heat with no air conditioning. [did I mention I adore him?] and I asked him to bring me gatorade and a banana. He brought powerade (which turns out, I like just as much) and three bananas.
I managed to get myself bathed, sort of dressed, and the house finished, before he arrived. We went out for chinese food (well, yah, he did). I thought I could have a bit of steamed rice. Put won ton soup broth on the rice ~ so very tasty.
We had a freak thunderstorm at 3am ish. We have a hard time sleeping together. He's unaccustomed to another in the bed and irritates easily (not like gets pissed off at me, just doesn't stay asleep). He also likes to wrap himself around me and then to have both of us not move for 8 hours. My body can't do that. I move a lot in my sleep. So, it's a challenge.
5:30am, knock on my door. Unbelievable. It was the police. Looking for CBF. 'He doesn't live here anymore.' I vaguely said where he was (I honestly didn't know his apartment number. I was telling the man how to get there and he interrupted me to ask if I knew the number. I said no, and quit volunteering info). I asked if he was in trouble, and he mentioned what the complaint was. I really don't think he did it; but it's not out of the realm of possibility. He could have been in a blackout. Worst part? He then asks me if I'm his mother. I said, 'no, I'm his girlfriend.' [technically, I could be his mother. sometimes I have more issue with it than others]
Then I got to go back to bed and tell FBF the story. Which was just so weird. And normal. At the same time. Then we couldn't go back to sleep and pondered what on earth we would do.
LOVELY. And then we finally got a few more hours of pretty good sleep.
The fair was fun, even if I couldn't enjoy all the crappy food I wanted to. I almost, but resisted, bought a stupid large expensive thing. (many years ago, CBF and I bought our first bed together at the fair ~ never again. Was a good bed, still have it, but the experience was distasteful all around)
CBF has other troubles in his life, but I do think he's a little freaked out at three of us together. Otherwise, he would not have blown us off. He's not coughing up whatever he needs to, and I'm too tired to even try to drag it out of him.
Again, I remind myself: They move glacially, and a bit more river-like.