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Old 11-15-2009, 11:34 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by IamWhoIam View Post
She feels that I blame her a lot, or that I say mean things.
Can this simply happen when someone is being unreservedly honest? When someone is sharing what they identify as challenges to overcome?
Yes it is possible to be honest and not tactful or blunt. I certainly struggle with this and work hard towards empathizing before I speak. Perhaps if you ask her how she would prefer to be spoken to so as to not be triggered? My husband I do this often as our minds think very differently and sometimes I say things that he becomes triggered by and visa versa. I quite often ask him to back up and tell me something or ask something with a different tone or approach. I remember to be patient that he doesn't know me and can't read my mind and is trying to be respectful of my feelings. He deserves to be told how I need to hear things sometimes.
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