Seattleite
New member
Am I being too needy?
My first post here, hello everybody!
I am in the middle of a NRE with somebody. A single poly guy. At first, there was no attraction on my part at all, but things kinda grew on me. These days, I think of the guy a lot. I feel his presence next to me. He does not, apparently. He keeps living his life like we are not honeymooning, keeps his calendar full, keeps looking for other women on the dating site (lots of effort, no dates), keeps all his recreational activities. That gets under my skin.
He does not work, no family to take care of. His sexual appetite is not a culprit either.
I have no problem finding a way to fulfill my needs elsewhere. I feel reluctant to do that, because I think I can only have NRE with one man at a time, and I don't want to kill the good thing we've been having. Though a part of me wants to do precisely that.
I feel the need to understand my own emotions. I know he's done nothing wrong, but the feelings of betrayal, anger, rejection are there and make no sense. I am concerned that if I am acting so insecure in a situations where I *should* feel on top of the world, what would happen when I date someone who actually gives me a reason for a little insecurity?
I guess part of the problem is, I've mixed friendship and romance in this relationship, and now unsure whether to start dancing the dance (of seduction, leading him on a chase) or proceed in a "friendly" way, which would be giving him all the info and letting him sort it all out. I mean, if my goal is that he continues pursuing me, then telling him those things would seem counterproductive?
Sounds like an extremely banal thing, yet I am not quite sure how to proceed.
Advice?
My first post here, hello everybody!
I am in the middle of a NRE with somebody. A single poly guy. At first, there was no attraction on my part at all, but things kinda grew on me. These days, I think of the guy a lot. I feel his presence next to me. He does not, apparently. He keeps living his life like we are not honeymooning, keeps his calendar full, keeps looking for other women on the dating site (lots of effort, no dates), keeps all his recreational activities. That gets under my skin.
He does not work, no family to take care of. His sexual appetite is not a culprit either.
I have no problem finding a way to fulfill my needs elsewhere. I feel reluctant to do that, because I think I can only have NRE with one man at a time, and I don't want to kill the good thing we've been having. Though a part of me wants to do precisely that.
I feel the need to understand my own emotions. I know he's done nothing wrong, but the feelings of betrayal, anger, rejection are there and make no sense. I am concerned that if I am acting so insecure in a situations where I *should* feel on top of the world, what would happen when I date someone who actually gives me a reason for a little insecurity?
I guess part of the problem is, I've mixed friendship and romance in this relationship, and now unsure whether to start dancing the dance (of seduction, leading him on a chase) or proceed in a "friendly" way, which would be giving him all the info and letting him sort it all out. I mean, if my goal is that he continues pursuing me, then telling him those things would seem counterproductive?
Sounds like an extremely banal thing, yet I am not quite sure how to proceed.
Advice?
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