I experienced similar things when I was your age and what I did was seek therapy. My therapist really helped me sort things out and I continued to see her off and on for many years. It's truly a valuable gift you can give yourself that will last a lifetime. Good luck!! There are also a lot of thoughtful people here who are willing to listen and share with you!!
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The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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