Hello all,
I will try make this short.
At christmas I had a house, a fiance and thought my life was on track. Then January he just upped and left me and everything crumbled. Im 23.
I started talking to an old crush and he told me he had a gf, after flirting and joking he said she didn't mind if we did anything. I was lonely, self esteem shattered so we became "friends with benefits".
I started learning i was into the BDSM scene after long battling with things i thought made me "weird" and learnt his gf was his Sub and they have a D/s relationship.
Due to financial hardships he said he would move in with me but when we did we would stop sleeping together.
5 months on...we are in a relationship and i have fallen in love after trying hard not to. He is so into me, when i have tried to end it he has started shaking and crying but i cannot stay in a poly relationship. His gf doesn't like me and i feel much competition goes on...i put this partly to her younger age. I cannot act how i would in a relationship and this is his first D/s AND poly he has had..i feel he will implode.
I keep telling him but he won't break up with me and i can't because when it is just me and him it is like she doesn't exist.
I have always been cheated on and am starting to feel not good enough.
I feel so trapped...he is such a good influence on me...i have lost weight, eating healthier, started hobbies again and learning to be myself in the bedroom..i want him but not poly...i feel so helpless and i know i shouldn't feel so sad and guilty everyday.
He said with him moving in next week if we ended it i'd be an ex to him and he would feel weird...i keep hoping i will win him over to me but i know this is a terrible way of thinking.
Im told poly is beneficial..i feel im getting half a relationship and he is getting everything and more.
Please help me.
I will try make this short.
At christmas I had a house, a fiance and thought my life was on track. Then January he just upped and left me and everything crumbled. Im 23.
I started talking to an old crush and he told me he had a gf, after flirting and joking he said she didn't mind if we did anything. I was lonely, self esteem shattered so we became "friends with benefits".
I started learning i was into the BDSM scene after long battling with things i thought made me "weird" and learnt his gf was his Sub and they have a D/s relationship.
Due to financial hardships he said he would move in with me but when we did we would stop sleeping together.
5 months on...we are in a relationship and i have fallen in love after trying hard not to. He is so into me, when i have tried to end it he has started shaking and crying but i cannot stay in a poly relationship. His gf doesn't like me and i feel much competition goes on...i put this partly to her younger age. I cannot act how i would in a relationship and this is his first D/s AND poly he has had..i feel he will implode.
I keep telling him but he won't break up with me and i can't because when it is just me and him it is like she doesn't exist.
I have always been cheated on and am starting to feel not good enough.
I feel so trapped...he is such a good influence on me...i have lost weight, eating healthier, started hobbies again and learning to be myself in the bedroom..i want him but not poly...i feel so helpless and i know i shouldn't feel so sad and guilty everyday.
He said with him moving in next week if we ended it i'd be an ex to him and he would feel weird...i keep hoping i will win him over to me but i know this is a terrible way of thinking.
Im told poly is beneficial..i feel im getting half a relationship and he is getting everything and more.
Please help me.