I am new to this situation and I need some advice.
I was raised in a very old fashioned home. I have tried my whole married life to make my husband happy. I have also always been very adventurous sexually.
About a year and a half ago my husband approached me with the suggestion that we invite a friend of ours to join us for sex. I was very excited about the idea and agreed. The experience was wonderful and I enjoyed it.
This friend was getting out of another relationship and trying to finish college. She needed a place to stay and so we invited her to stay at our house for as long as she needed.
At first it was wonderful. We hardly came out of the bedroom. One day I passed the computer and found an IM that they had been talking on. I know I shouldn't have snooped but I was curious. He told her how much he loved her and how happy he was to have her in his life now. I felt sick. It was one thing to be having fun in the bedroom but a whole different thing for him to be in love with her.
All the insecurities I have felt my entire life came bubbling to the surface. Why wasn't I good enough for him? What did I do wrong?
I made the mistake of agreeing to things that made me unhappy just because I thought they would make him happy. Then when it would happen I would have a meltdown and freak out on him.
I am jealous of the time they spent together. I compare everything he does for her to what he's done for me. It's awful, I feel so inadequate.
My husband has tried to be honest right from the beginning. He told me that he would never have a sexual relationship with someone he didn't have feelings for. He tried to go slow. He tried to get me to talk. I hid my feelings until I was at the freak out point.
The thing is, I love them both. I want this to work and for everyone to be happy. I just don't know how to get past my own self doubts.
I don't want it to be too late to save either relationship. My husband doesn't know what to do with me anymore. He doesn't trust my new look at things because of my past actions. He has stopped being loving and close to me.
I would love your advice. Thanks for listening.
I was raised in a very old fashioned home. I have tried my whole married life to make my husband happy. I have also always been very adventurous sexually.
About a year and a half ago my husband approached me with the suggestion that we invite a friend of ours to join us for sex. I was very excited about the idea and agreed. The experience was wonderful and I enjoyed it.
This friend was getting out of another relationship and trying to finish college. She needed a place to stay and so we invited her to stay at our house for as long as she needed.
At first it was wonderful. We hardly came out of the bedroom. One day I passed the computer and found an IM that they had been talking on. I know I shouldn't have snooped but I was curious. He told her how much he loved her and how happy he was to have her in his life now. I felt sick. It was one thing to be having fun in the bedroom but a whole different thing for him to be in love with her.
All the insecurities I have felt my entire life came bubbling to the surface. Why wasn't I good enough for him? What did I do wrong?
I made the mistake of agreeing to things that made me unhappy just because I thought they would make him happy. Then when it would happen I would have a meltdown and freak out on him.
I am jealous of the time they spent together. I compare everything he does for her to what he's done for me. It's awful, I feel so inadequate.
My husband has tried to be honest right from the beginning. He told me that he would never have a sexual relationship with someone he didn't have feelings for. He tried to go slow. He tried to get me to talk. I hid my feelings until I was at the freak out point.
The thing is, I love them both. I want this to work and for everyone to be happy. I just don't know how to get past my own self doubts.
I don't want it to be too late to save either relationship. My husband doesn't know what to do with me anymore. He doesn't trust my new look at things because of my past actions. He has stopped being loving and close to me.
I would love your advice. Thanks for listening.