can we REALLY love more than one person?

obvously I am the one to decide about my own feelings.. but I get confused sometimes even when knowing the answer..

There have been some steps I needed to take to come to a place were no confusion would blurry my vision. First of all, realizing for myself that this is possible. The only thing that helped me with that was time. The years of experiencing love in more than the exclusive way were that impossible to ignore that my mind just surrendered. Therefore I came to accept the simple fact that loving more than one is possible.

The second step was even harder: EXPLAINING to others how that works. That was really hard. How to explain to others what you yourself just barely grasped? There have been many talks about my inner workings, at home with my men, with friends, as well as on this forum. Therefore I would say, that 'knowing' an answer emotionally and 'knowing' an answer literally are two different things and sometimes don't come naturally with each other.

Don't push things, just experience what you feel and the answer will come later. That's what my solution looked like :)
 
kdt26417 and Phy, you are both so right..

I know only time is needed..
Boyfriend finally agreed to listen to what this 'polyamory' is and why I am so caught up in it.. (that happened after a weird kind of a talk that almost sent us apart in different ways, but that wasn't the right thing to do) so wish me luck :)
 
Delivered as asked: Wishing you luck :D
 
A suggestion I make to others - if your partner wants more information or has questions, you might want to suggest he get a login here and pose them to a larger group.
 
Have you had "The Big Talk" yet? I hope it goes well. Franklin Veaux's website is also a good place to go to get some of your questions answered.
 
If you keep it in one thread it's easier for those reading along to read back and get a context for the narrative. :)
 
I just let it all out and even used the word 'polyamory'.

blah blah blah (had long talks through some nights)

Decided to stay together and that he will need time and try to undertand me and accept me as I am.

I feel SO relieved now, should have done it before.
But I feel like I'm hurting him by letting him know that 'he is not the only one' although my love to him hasn't change a bit (actually this made me realize that i love him a lot more than I thought)
 
Sounds like overall it went pretty well, not perfectly, perhaps, but as well as I'd hoped for sure. :)
 
Don't lose hope; these things get better a little at a time. :)
 
He said he is gonna go and accept me and all that I told him and try to enjoy it rather than get man all the time and hope I forget her... I hope it works.. o_O
 
Well I'll be pulling for you, FWIW.
 
It is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time, without having necessarily having sex with both. I can vouch for this with my own elimited experience. We r in a polyamorous relation with another couple since nearly an year. We r living together, but it has remained as a emotional level. and we r shortly planning to be poly in every sense with in a short time
We just cant just imagine we getting separated and living separately, so much is our atachement
 
Simple answer Yes, Complex answer see below

Simple answer:

You love you mother and your father (likely grandparents, siblings, etc) and if you have children, bet you love them all...

Now Complex answer.

Loving more then one partner reaches two main bumps in my opinion.

1) Our present society tends to discourage not/recognize, so folks are programmed to believe they can only love 'a person', that loving another somehow takes away from the first.

2) True solid 'love' would survive multiple relationships, however, Romantic involvement may not. If you 'LOVE' the person you want them to be happy, whether that is in your arms, or or some one elses arms. Now if you love BEING WITH the person, then you may resent them being with another.

Now for most it is some kind of combination of the two... You love the person (but you also love being with them), so while you may want them to be happy (and a part of you IS happy they can enjoy life with another), there is also a side that is jealous/envious of them.


It can be hard at time, but ask yourself this...

If you Love X.... you want them to be as happy as possible, so if they are truly happier spending time with Y, shouldn't you be happy for them...

Now isn't it even better if they are truly happy spending tme with Y and STILL want to spend time with you and try to make you happy also.

Peace
 
I've been reading here a lot, sometimes posting but mostly reading trying to find answers for many questions..

I always thought that it is possible to love more than one person. I never thought in depth about it nor discussed it with anyone since there was no actual need..

And now when thing as they are... I've been wondering...
can we REALLY love more than one person?

I put 'really' in caps, because when I met this girl and felt like I was beginning to develop feelings towards her, I wondered do I really love my bf of almost 6 years or is that a habit? LOTS of emotions were over loading my head, but I come to realize that I do love him.
And by now I think that I am falling in love with that girl (if haven't already)

At times I can feel the 'me loving them' at the same time naturally, sometimes I need time to switch from one to another (I don't like that feeling, that I'm like supposedly switching one of them off')

So that's why I am asking again, can we REALLY love more than one person? or is that my mind playing tricks on me?
Yes I do agree and support for loving Mentally more than one and Physically too.
 
Hope for the best

Loving two is awesome. My wife had difficulty with it but adjusted very well. My secondary’s husband could not deal with it and vetoed my relationship with her. The love I have did not stop with the veto. I still love two. I have a relationship with one. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.
 
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