A Loving Couple's Introduction

LuvinCpl

New member
Hello, our names are Chris and Michelle. We won't say too much about who we are and what we're like because we like to leave all that for conversation. But we'll throw this out there... We are both very affectionate people, love to cuddle, love going to new places around town and occasionally enjoy going to concerts. We love being outside as much as possible. We like sunshine, people watching, the beach and conversation.

We are very happy and secure in who we are as a married couple and our relationship together is outstanding. We possess excellent communication skills - therefore we do not yell, fight etc. We are both used to a loving environment. We are happily married but we mutually agree that we have a longing for finding someone to share her life with us. To share her interests with us - an equal to love honor and cherish... some day even as our wife. Our wife, not just Chris' wife or a sister wife to Michelle. But a woman that would have a deep loving relationship with us both. So what we are looking for would be a full blown EQUAL relationship between the three of us. A closed triad (poly-fidelity triad). We are not fans of labels like primary and secondary. We want our relationship with someone to eventually become the same type of equal commitment the two of us already have with each other, but for all three of us.

We have dated a little and never did find anyone that had the same ideas of the type of relationship we are looking for. We had also tried dating separately and found shortly after, that was definitely not what we were looking for. We felt odd not involving each other in the experiences we were having separately.

We are very much real and normal people. We don't have TONS of drama in our lives and we are definitely not flakes. We are 100% into meeting someone. We currently live in the Chattanooga, Tn area but will be moving to the Los Angeles, Ca area some time next year. If you think you could be "the one" or know someone you think we should get to know... send us a message :D
 
You might want to move this to the Dating and Friendship area.
Also, search for triads, Unicorns, and Unicorn Hunting on this forum, might give you some ideas on further posts.

N
 
Greetings Chris and Michelle,

I hope you'll find what you're looking for; the Dating & Friendships subforum might be a place to start. You sound like you have a quite positive and healthy relationship, and I'm sure there's someone out there who could benefit from being a part of it.

I think it'll help a lot that you want this third person to be on an equal par with the both of you. You'll also need to be understanding of the reality that it's often a long shot for one person to fall in love with both members of a couple (let alone fall in love with both members equally). I'm just saying, you'll probably need to be rather patient in the process of your search.

Yes, you will probably run into some complaints about "unicorn hunting." Try to take those with a grain of salt, people have often just witnessed/experienced some of the things that can go wrong in an intentional effort to form a "perfect triangle," and are probably just attempting to give you fair warning. To prepare yourself for all that, try this link: http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-called-you-a-unicorn-hunter/

I wish you the very best and hope you'll enjoy your time with us. Have a look around and feel free to post any thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have.

With a warm welcome,
Kevin T.
 
Thanks for the welcome :)

We've actually been on some other sites and FaceBook groups for a while now... a couple years. And we've been actively dating for that time as well. True, there are a lot of people that bash unicorn hunting. And there is more than one definition of a unicorn as well. I'll just say this, we are not looking for the type of unicorn that is "used" to fulfill any kind of fantasy. Nor do we want to find someone just for a short time then toss to the curb. We have seen plenty of people like that, and honestly they annoy us. Because of the "using" and for what they make the rest of us look like. Plus, we don't care for using the word unicorn only because it's been used in such a negative way and so many people seem to hate the use of the word.

Soooo, this post was initially intended to be just an introduction but I got kinda carried away :) So I'll be re-posting it in another section.

Again, thanks for the welcome!
 
M/F Couple Searching for Our Mrs Right

Hello, our names are Chris and Michelle. We won't say too much about who we are and what we're like because we like to leave all that for conversation. But we'll throw this out there... We are both very affectionate people, love to cuddle, love going to new places around town and occasionally enjoy going to concerts. We love being outside as much as possible. We like sunshine, people watching, the beach and conversation.

We are very happy and secure in who we are as a married couple and our relationship together is outstanding. We possess excellent communication skills - therefore we do not yell, fight etc. We are both used to a loving environment. We are happily married but we mutually agree that we have a longing for finding someone to share her life with us. To share her interests with us - an equal to love honor and cherish... some day even as our wife. Our wife, not just Chris' wife or a sister wife to Michelle. But a woman that would have a deep loving relationship with us both. So what we are looking for would be a full blown EQUAL relationship between the three of us. A closed triad (poly-fidelity triad). We are not fans of labels like primary and secondary. We want our relationship with someone to eventually become the same type of equal commitment the two of us already have with each other, but for all three of us.

We have dated a little and never did find anyone that had the same ideas of the type of relationship we are looking for. We had also tried dating separately and found shortly after, that was definitely not what we were looking for. We felt odd not involving each other in the experiences we were having separately.

We are very much real and normal people. We don't have TONS of drama in our lives and we are definitely not flakes. We are 100% into meeting someone. We currently live in the Chattanooga, Tn area but will be moving to the Los Angeles, Ca area some time next year. We like all nationalities and are also open to seeing someone in any location. If you think you could be "the one" or know someone you think we should get to know... send us a message.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Well- your post is definitely interesting! Not sure if you will find what you are looking for, but it's cool that you are trying. Unfortunately, you are in the majority (couple desiring a female) so you have a lot of competition. I identify as a single woman and I date couples. I like lots of relationships though, so someone like me would never be willing to "settle down" with a couple exclusively.
 
You might want to read some of the other couple ads in the dating section, 90% of them claim they are looking for a LTR/"our" wife. It really is not a case that others are making Unicorn Hunters look bad, many people think ALL unicorn hunters look bad, so just be prepared for little to no response from single women.
However, it does seem that you both have a really happy and tight relationship some people don't have that :)
 
Never mind, just saw your other thread.
 
Last edited:
I first put this comment on your personal ad, but it's more appropriate here.

You wouldn't be able to legally marry this ideal woman, so she could never be equal, in the eyes of society or the law.

Would you 2 and this woman be completely "out" as an equal triad socially? Or would she need to be a dirty little secret to family, job bosses and colleagues? What about PDAs as a threesome? What about dating/fucking each of you separately, as well as sharing 3some time, in or out of bed?

You seem like nice people, but I wonder if you understand why you're having such a hard time finding your unicorn.
 
Also, please notice you are very much wrapped up into your relationship, your coupled culture. WE love to cuddle, WE have excellent communication skills, WE are both used to a loving environment. WE mutually decided that we want a girlfriend for the both of us because WE feel awkward not sharing......what about what this other woman wants?

What if SHE doesn't love to cuddle, what if he communication skills are not excellent? She has an awful lot to live up to because you come as a package deal and that equals double the pressure.

Just because you don't want to be separated does not mean any woman can take the pressure of what feels like Mecha partner, rather than two individuals...even your profile name is so enmeshed into coupledom.....no woman can ever feel like part of that it is just so.....coupled.

Do you know when a profile signs up with this sort of name "Cpl4u" "2seeks3rd" "maybe3"
"swcple" "cplseeksbif" you know that their profile will go unanswered and they just post their 'wanted' ad and never come back....if you want to stand out from this overwhelming crowd of WE WANT, than you are going to have to do a lot more than say WE WILL treat her like an equal, because you know what?? They all say that.
 
After I posted this last night I looked through the forums, you're right there are tons of couples looking for one person. Though it was nice to see plenty looking for male partners too. We don't see that in most other sites.
 
Wow guys, seriously?

First of all, I know legally we can't marry a woman, there are other ways of going about it though. Commitment ceremonies, can still have a ring, etc, etc.

Yes, equal, in everything other than the obvious legal things like a marriage license. Equal in sharing everything.

Out? Totally. We already are out to everyone we know and have done the whole "PDA in public" together before. No dirty little secrets.

And you wonder if we understand why we are finding it so hard to find our "unicorn"... I wouldn't say this has been difficult to find someone due to lack of interest in us. In fact we have dated many women. There have been plenty that do want this type of relationship, sharing everything, living together eventually and even an equal as a "wife" as much as law would or wouldn't allow. So, why are we still looking? Since we've dated so many and so many are into this? Why are we still looking? Well, why does anyone go on a date and not have a second? Or date someone a few times then not anymore? Things just don't click sometimes. The same as with any two people, only there's three.

Also, you mention what if she doesn't like to do the things we do, great communication, cuddling, etc, etc... what? Am I to not list anything we like to do together? If I were monogamous I guess my ad should just say "I like to do stuff"? No, I would say what types of things I like to do and am good at. If a certain woman comes along that likes those things too, then she would message me... it's happened before. So why shouldn't we do this here as well? And of course it says WE do this and WE like that, we're saying WE would like to find someone to do those things with.

And last, seriously, why do I feel like you guys are bashing? I mean, I simply posted something stating what we're looking for and it seems most of you are, well, assuming we're like EVERYONE else. Not understanding of the situation, not in it for the right reasons, not interested in what the other woman would want. What's the deal here? I just got here and you guys make me want to leave.
 
Welcome to the forum, Chris and Michelle.

I am never one to tell people to live. I say...get it how you live.

My only question is why poly-fi? What if this woman wants to have a husband or wife of her own in a legal sense? What if she wants to have children--with someone outside of your husband? Will be she allowed to do that, or is that a breaking point?

I am not bashing either of you. Honestly? I could not give a damn what others do with their lives. If it does not impede my life in any way, it matters not. I am not going to lose any sleep, and my heart is going to keep beating. I encourage people to seek happiness and do what they want.

Do not let anyone run you off. These are common questions and concerns. Quite a few people have either been that couple or that woman, and could it be projection from a negative experience? Maybe, or they could be pointing out the error of your ways and trying to give you a perspective that you may not be able to see while in a situation. I call it the blind spot. Often, it helps me to get advice from unbiased people. Do not take it as criticism.

Either way it goes. I wish you luck, Chris and Michelle. I do hope you find what you are looking for, be an active member, make some friends, and even gain some insight. Feel free to even start a blog about your poly meanderings. Best of luck. :)

Ry
 
I've moved this to the Dating and Friendships forum, which means that anyone posting in this thread from now on who's not actively trying to date the OP is off topic.

If LuvinCpl wishes to discuss their dating style or ask for tips they can start a new thread in General Poly Discussions or the Poly Relationships Corner.
 
Thanks for the kind words :)

As I guess any polyamorous person knows, there are many ways of being poly. We do what works for ourselves. There is no one way of being this way. For us, we know that having a plethora of relationships is not what we want. We feel most comfortable and happy with it being three of us. We know we can more easily divide our time for each other and yet not feel like we barely spend time together. Like I mentioned in a previous post, there are plenty of other people out there that want it the same way, we've dated some, they exist :) We would like to find someone that wants to be a part of a closed triad. If one day we all want to add a fourth, then we will. Will she be able to have a child by us? No, and I guess we should have mentioned in our ad, we're 38 and 40. We've had kids already and can't have more, nor do we want more.

So sure, this decreases the amount of women that would be interested in us, but we don't care. If it takes us another two years or two decades, we won't settle for just anyone just because she's a bi female. And we wouldn't want her to settle for us either. We should all stick to want we want and get out there and get it. Whether it's one partner, two or ten.
 
Emm... I already posted this in Dating and Friendships forum. Some others here just decided to chime in a lot on what we're looking for rather than just saying welcome :)
 
Back
Top