CherryBlossomGirl
Inactive
I am no stranger to these boards, although in some ways I feel brand new as I stepped away for some time for a period of reflection. I have learned so much from everyone's stories over the past couple of years and have so much respect for people's experiences and hard won wisdom.
I have been ethically non-monogamous since I was in my teens. I have never identified with monogamy as a fundamental philosophy although I have participated in it for periods of time when a partner desired it. I have been a part of Vs, Ns, triads, dyads and quads. I have created some epic disasters through my blunders, learned an incredible amount about myself and others, and been part of some beautiful successes; 'tis the nature of all relationships and love stories, I suppose.
I largely exist in a cerebral world, and find my emotional life confusing and overwhelming on the whole. I come from a family of intelligent, creative, unique and hardworking people; my legacy is to put forward an image of success and happiness no matter what one's internal world may contain or the private shit storm that might be happening in our lives. There was never much time for emotional matters in my household, and I fell in line with an unhealthy way of handling negative emotions. I have witnessed my family deal with their weaker sides with a great deal of secrecy and shame, and there is a certain lack of acceptance, and fear of exposure of our shadow selves.
The last year of my life has been a reformation of this truth; an opening of a deeper sense of self realization and a rebirth of self as a woman who is more in tune with her feelings and truth than ever before. It has been an awakening that I never could have anticipated being so uncomfortable or difficult. It has also been an absolute and utter relief to put down the burdens of constantly striving for perfection, and to find an internal forgiveness and gentleness in seeing myself as a more unified, beautifully imperfect human being.
Pseudonym time.... Along for this journey is my honest, honorable and gentle male partner Daith, (Irish for beloved) and my loving female partner, Viveka (Sanskrit for discernment/wisdom). Both have been incredibly supportive and accepting of me during my chrysalis, and stand resolutely beside me as I step into this integrated sense of self. To say that I love them is an almost perverse understatement. Our relationships are based in total honesty, integrity, openness and respect. Consensual, conscious non-monogamy with a gooey center of real admiration and devotion. I am pretty damn blessed. Viveka has two other partners. Daith is monogamous. I date other women occasionally as both of my partners live some distance away, but it is rather casual at present.
I am nothing if not into fearless self inventory and evolution; I am devoted to finding wholeness after some recent and present tumultuous and challenging times in my life. I currently work weekly with a feelings and narrative based counselor as well as another that will be working with me bi-monthly from a cognitive behavioral perspective. I also work with a life coach that helps me reach personal goals and integrate the truths that surface inside of me into a more whole vision of self. I journal, read and meditate, and am an avid hiker, trail and road runner. I am a successful, confident and capable woman in all things external and believe in making a difference in the world around me. I am very grateful for the life that I have built for myself and do not take my life or my loves for granted.
I have been ethically non-monogamous since I was in my teens. I have never identified with monogamy as a fundamental philosophy although I have participated in it for periods of time when a partner desired it. I have been a part of Vs, Ns, triads, dyads and quads. I have created some epic disasters through my blunders, learned an incredible amount about myself and others, and been part of some beautiful successes; 'tis the nature of all relationships and love stories, I suppose.
I largely exist in a cerebral world, and find my emotional life confusing and overwhelming on the whole. I come from a family of intelligent, creative, unique and hardworking people; my legacy is to put forward an image of success and happiness no matter what one's internal world may contain or the private shit storm that might be happening in our lives. There was never much time for emotional matters in my household, and I fell in line with an unhealthy way of handling negative emotions. I have witnessed my family deal with their weaker sides with a great deal of secrecy and shame, and there is a certain lack of acceptance, and fear of exposure of our shadow selves.
The last year of my life has been a reformation of this truth; an opening of a deeper sense of self realization and a rebirth of self as a woman who is more in tune with her feelings and truth than ever before. It has been an awakening that I never could have anticipated being so uncomfortable or difficult. It has also been an absolute and utter relief to put down the burdens of constantly striving for perfection, and to find an internal forgiveness and gentleness in seeing myself as a more unified, beautifully imperfect human being.
Pseudonym time.... Along for this journey is my honest, honorable and gentle male partner Daith, (Irish for beloved) and my loving female partner, Viveka (Sanskrit for discernment/wisdom). Both have been incredibly supportive and accepting of me during my chrysalis, and stand resolutely beside me as I step into this integrated sense of self. To say that I love them is an almost perverse understatement. Our relationships are based in total honesty, integrity, openness and respect. Consensual, conscious non-monogamy with a gooey center of real admiration and devotion. I am pretty damn blessed. Viveka has two other partners. Daith is monogamous. I date other women occasionally as both of my partners live some distance away, but it is rather casual at present.
I am nothing if not into fearless self inventory and evolution; I am devoted to finding wholeness after some recent and present tumultuous and challenging times in my life. I currently work weekly with a feelings and narrative based counselor as well as another that will be working with me bi-monthly from a cognitive behavioral perspective. I also work with a life coach that helps me reach personal goals and integrate the truths that surface inside of me into a more whole vision of self. I journal, read and meditate, and am an avid hiker, trail and road runner. I am a successful, confident and capable woman in all things external and believe in making a difference in the world around me. I am very grateful for the life that I have built for myself and do not take my life or my loves for granted.
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