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Old 08-15-2012, 07:40 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 284

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I find it interesting that you refer to yourself (in this thread and another post of yours) as a "stray single," which makes me thing of a stray dog without a home. It is clear in your first post in this thread that you want a committed partner to cohabit and share your life with, but I think your work starts with being happy now as a single person. Or call yourself solo, like I and some others do - it has a much better connotation. To me, calling oneself single, in this society, implies "until I'm not single anymore." But being solo means being unabashedly content to be independent and free!

Accept and find satisfaction in the here and now of your life as it is!!!

In another thread, just a month ago, you wrote:

Don't worry about labels like primary and secondary. Why not wholeheartedly embrace your singlehood, with all its freedoms, autonomy, and wide array of choices before you, instead of looking at it like you're missing something and deficient until somebody comes along, scoops you up poor little single you, and brings you home to take care of you - just like a stray. Gosh, have fun - you're single! Yay!

You are lovable, but you need to love yourself first! Nobody wants a project in love relationships, but strong, confident, happy single people are very attractive. Then you will find people who gravitate toward you for healthy reasons, and you will have a strong foundation in your love for yourself and satisfaction with life just as it is, to make good choices about whom to involve yourself with, based on who they are and how they treat you, rather than what category they fall into in the poly world.
I agree on the single vs solo. Sounds to me like she's single and needs to accept it and become solo before she can be happy as a second, first, or anything at all with anyone at all.

When hope is lost all else fails. Don't give up hope!
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith

Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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