@scubadiver1 - I believe I'm in that rut right now with banging my head against the wall trying to figure out how to find someone. I also have thought of sinking to just finding someone for casual sex in hopes it may lead to more. (There are plenty of women into casual sex and unhappy wives out there but don't know about sinking to that level when I want more!)
Although in my situation I am still married. together 10 years, married 7 years and hoping it continues even though poly has really rocked our relationship. So I can sort of understand after being through a divorce may likely feel even worse off trying to start another relationship even more.
Not sure if you're having the same issues as to
"where" to search or contact people. Polyamory doesn't seem to go over to well on typical dating sites even tho in our case I think we're both looking for Long Term relationships.
I've tried posting more on here in hopes of making friends and maybe meet someone through networking.
Also joined
Fetlife, I'm very new on there but it looks like you can search for local people, search groups, etc. It seems to revolve mainly around fetishes but there are some groups which cover poly so there must be people into it on there. Crossing fingers to find some local even as just friends so don't have to go through the whole OMG YOUR MARRIED!?
Otherwise for normal dating sites we both believe
Okcupid is the best, wife has already started dating through it but of course being male it's more of a challenge (imo) to find anyone accepting of someone married or poly.