Online Dating… OKCupid... what a trip. What works for you?

Wow TL4everu2, she sounds like her brain is still in high school! Asking you to pass messages to other guys? Asking your wife to pass a message to you? ...and if it's on-line, I wouldn't buy the "didn't see you online" because you can always leave a message. Whatever, sounds like you're better off! In any case, of course you're not going to find anyone as good as your wife! That's why she's your wife! That doesn't mean you won't find someone that deserves your time and your love...The thing is, knowing how rare this person is...will make you appreciate her/them all the more, because you know for sure that you can't just pick up any old person off the street to get what you want. Also, I'm sure this whole thing is making you appreciate your wife more lol. Hopefully you let her know it as often as possible! :)

^^What the new chick said. :)

It may not be the popular way of thinking, but you DON`T have to try and love everyone all equal. As long as everyone is truly ok with the arrangements, just let situations be what they are.

There is a difference between being picky, and being cynical of everything you see.
Are you sure you are just being picky with women, TL ?
The posts come across more as cynical, hence some of the responses.
 
^^What the new chick said. :)

It may not be the popular way of thinking, but you DON`T have to try and love everyone all equal. As long as everyone is truly ok with the arrangements, just let situations be what they are.

There is a difference between being picky, and being cynical of everything you see.
Are you sure you are just being picky with women, TL ?
The posts come across more as cynical, hence some of the responses.
Oh, believe me, I AM being picky with women....BUT....I am also somewhat cynical. I mean, there is a HUGE double standard when it comes to poly dating. Women think us guys have it so easy, while they play coy and sit back letting the men come to them. :rolleyes:

Think about it....I would be willing to bet that if I were to ask 100 single men, if they would sleep with a married woman who was in a poly relationship, that 95% of them would say SURE! I would go even further and saythat out of those 100 men, if you asked them if they would be willing to have a RELATIONSHIP with a married woman in a poly relationship, that 75-80% would be willing to try it depending on the woman involved.


CONVERSELY......

Ask 100 WOMEN if they would sleep with a married MAN in a poly relationship.....I would venture to say that 95% would say a resounding NO. And if asked about having a RELATIONSHIP with a married man, I think the numbers would go a bit LOWER. As women tend to be more into a relationship as opposed to just casual sex. So I would say that possibly only 90% of the women would say NO to a relationship with a man in a poly marriage.

And people wonder WHY I sound so cynical?



Well...The reason is because with THREE exceptions, every woman I've attempted to converse with, quits talking to me as soon as they find out I'm married and in a poly relationship. Of those THREE, I dated one....and it went poorly. The other, I'm still speaking to, and the third....well...I already spoke about her above.

So there you have it. I LOVE females. I am 100% straight....but almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of them....has been totally unaccepting of anything out of the "norm".
 
Think about it....I would be willing to bet that if I were to ask 100 single men, if they would sleep with a married woman who was in a poly relationship, that 95% of them would say SURE! I would go even further and saythat out of those 100 men, if you asked them if they would be willing to have a RELATIONSHIP with a married woman in a poly relationship, that 75-80% would be willing to try it depending on the woman involved.

Has not been my experience, at all, in 2 1/2 years of dating.
 
I have to admit, I think if you asked 100 single guys if they would sleep with a married woman behind the husband's back then likely over half would say yes; as long as they didn't know the husband personally. Very few would engage in a relationship with that woman though I think. If they had to meet the husband I doubt many would bother at all. There are way too many less entangled woman at least in my area....something like 4 to one.
 
Has not been my experience, at all, in 2 1/2 years of dating.
Magdlyn, not to be rude, but your age, may have something to do with that. Guys who are over 45, think differently. And I can't imagine you showing an interest in guys in their early to late 30's. (Which is the age that Kandy usually deals with)
 
I have to admit, I think if you asked 100 single guys if they would sleep with a married woman behind the husband's back then likely over half would say yes; as long as they didn't know the husband personally. Very few would engage in a relationship with that woman though I think. If they had to meet the husband I doubt many would bother at all. There are way too many less entangled woman at least in my area....something like 4 to one.
So far, every one who has had the chance/offer, has jumped on the oportunity to go out on a date with Kandy. Even more, offer to "fuck her and give her what he man isn't". :rolleyes:
 
Oh, are you on this roll again? I thought this debate was settled several threads ago!
Not sure about "settled", but eh...whatever. You may notice that as I get over one full year of rejections, and head into another, the same, tired, gripes come out. Why? Because they have not changed....even though I have. So...Women are, as my wife says, "catty". They will do anything they wish....as long as it is on THEIR terms. And if it isn't on THEIR terms, then it's no go. And fuck anyone who thinks or desires differently. lol

Why women aren't in complete control of the world is beyond me. They have all the pussy, and 1/2 the possessions. So....why are men still in dominant positions in the majority of the work force? We are not really "needed" at all except for procreation. lol
 
And don't you want everything on YOUR terms? And if it's not on your terms, it's a no-go, right?
No. It should be an equal effort. There is a give and take. Ebb, and flow.

Look, you have toi give, and in turn, you also get. I give up some...I take some. A person can not simply take...take...take...take. However, what do I know. :rolleyes:
 
So far, every one who has had the chance/offer, has jumped on the oportunity to go out on a date with Kandy. Even more, offer to "fuck her and give her what he man isn't". :rolleyes:

Reading all of what you have said, yes I agree. Women will outright reject something they do not want. Men will give it a whirl.

Where things change though, is many men will jump into something with both feet, only to pull out when things get deep.*
Has that not been Kandys' experience ? Start getting to know someone, then bam, they are gone ?

Where as women reject things they have already decided doesn't work for them. When they want to try something, they tend to put in the full effort to make something work. Sometimes...to much.

Of course, this is a very general guideline, and I know women who 'jump', and men who out-right reject.
For arguments sake, I can see the generalization.

However, the cynicism will eat you alive, if you let it TL. :(

From a woman`s point of view ; When we go on a date, and see a man THIS cynical, we see 'to much baggage' and move on. The guy can think he is doing a great job of laughing and telling jokes, but the bitterness always seeps out.

You might be missing out on some gals who are 'borderline' on considering opening up, simply because they sense the hostility.

Just this pussys' opinion. Now excuse me, while I take over the world. :p


* - You perverts !
 
So far, every one who has had the chance/offer, has jumped on the oportunity to go out on a date with Kandy. Even more, offer to "fuck her and give her what he man isn't". :rolleyes:

Excuse me, but in my husband's words, "The only thing this says to me is that you have an awesome wife!"

I haven't done the dating site thing, but I am on some epal n networking type sites n get a ton of messages from people that want only sex...same in a club...but it's not what I want, so who cares how many of those I get? Trash is still trash no matter how much of it there is...and most, after talking a few times try to convince me that they can be everything my man isn't. They want me to leave him, not be in a poly relationship with them, so again...not what I want. I would say out of a hundred offers, 1-3 are interesting to me. Most of the ones I get are just requests for boob shots. Why think I'm having it easier? It just takes me longer to delete this crap. N FYI, I'm 35 n love both older n younger men...the requests are the same. Don't feel depressed, think how lucky the girl you find will be because you will appreciate how rare she is...might want to try not comparing her to your wife though...no one will win there, they won't have the history she has.
 
Magdlyn, not to be rude, but your age, may have something to do with that. Guys who are over 45, think differently. And I can't imagine you showing an interest in guys in their early to late 30's. (Which is the age that Kandy usually deals with)

You don't know me at all!

Actually I have dated guys from age 21 to 63. My gf miss pixi is now 34. We've been together since January of '09. My longest term male "lovers" were in their 20s. D and I had a regular thing, he was just shy of 21 when we met and 23 when he moved on last February (against my wishes). Another guy I saw for 7 months was 26 (mutual breakup).

I meet few guys in their 30s. They seem to be the busiest with jobs and raising babies.

Men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s have never worked out for that long. Poly married ones, or single guys, too many issues to commit. Or they bore me to death because they haven't kept growing, just getting older and stagnating since the 1970s.

I haven't even tried to date anyone besides miss pixi since July. I've been taking a break. Too many jerks out there. I feel almost as cynical as you.
 
I like the ability to meet people online. Yes it has its downsides.

But I like the idea of having a general sense of a person. Even if it's just a superficial image of them. It helps me weed out the people who I know are not going to be a good personality match (like a religious extremist meeting me, an atheist, would probably not be so great.)

I've met weirdos online. But I've also made real friends that extended from online only, to the real world.
 
OMG, just got this msg on okc.

"Call me lets cum together"

No phone number though.

Checked his profile, 53 year old straight guy, 700 miles away.

First thing in his profile says:

I am a Man with traditional values.
A Woman should succumb to me and idolize me.
Stay in the kitchen, cook my meals.
Just shut up and have sex with me whenever I want.
No one wants to hear what you have to say anyways.
Probably a lie or some other "angle".
Am I a scorned lover, not at all !
Woman are only here on earth for one purpose.
Like I said, to serve Man.
Sooo...if you want just sex, hit me up !

I really can't think of any other use for them.

Thank you....

:eek:
 
It helps me weed out the people who I know are not going to be a good personality match (like a religious extremist meeting me, an atheist, would probably not be so great.)

Funny that you say this. I usually look out for fundy Bible thumpers, too. However, I've been seeing someone who is pretty conservative, a practicing Catholic (wears a medal, even), and I am an agnostic non-theist, raised Protestant and taught to have a very dim view of Catholicism (funny, my ex was Catholic, too). I would have sought someone more liberal (I am liberal/centrist), and been hesitant to start up with anyone who has bipolar disorder, which he has.

Yet, the last few months have been fun, sweet, affectionate, and full of hot sex. He has kept me company when I was lonely, and I have really come to love him in this short amount of time, and hope we will continue to see each other. I could not have predicted nor engineered having someone like him in my life. So, while online dating is great for weeding out "undesirables," it can also make us miss some good and enriching possibilities.
 
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He is a conservative, practicing Catholic (wears a medal, even)...
Yet, the last few months have been... full of hot sex.

He makes baby Jesus cry.
 
online shopping

I would have to agree with Derbylicious' original post about online shopping. Even though in work in IT I kinda miss the old days of meeting people face to face at high school party or just out at the mall. When I'm looking for a relationship I don't want to go about it the same way I would buy clothes on line.
 
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