If you've tried repeatedly, it's up to her to respond. If she won't or can't, the three of you can't move forward. It's her move.
I will agree that Wifey has stepped up to the plate but she steps out if she doesn't get her desired pitch.
-For example Wifey wants to spend more time with our girlfriend she will step up and say "Girlfriend...I'd like to spend more time with you" Then she waits for Girlfriend to set up some time they can spend. Instead of saying "Girlfriend I'd like to spend some time with you...how about Saturday evening?"
You have to step up to the plate and try to hit all pitches.