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Old 09-21-2011, 09:30 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,733

Generally in poly there is no "couple." That is more a "swinging" notion or "open." If a couple enters poly thinking that they are the primary and they will obtain a secondary it ends in hurt feelings, love not being evenly distributed amongst the three and the secondary being ditched because she or he is wrecking the "couple." The attitude of couples is generally not lined up for poly. I would check your agenda with this personally.

I agree with the search idea and see if you might want to keep with swinging... I noticed you are swingers from another thread. Either that or prepare for independence, autonomy and to have your whole notion of coupledom be turned on its head. If it even exists in poly for the long haul.

Of course there are some occasions where a couple own a secondary, but they are usually few and far between and occur over time and with experience. Depending also on how long it lasts. I would say that the scenario you seek lasts about a month or so. Over a year; rare to nil.
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