we are a small polyfamily

fleurisseur

New member
Hello
we are a small polyfamily
2 men, 5 women, 7 kids


rule 1) never lie
rule 2) be always available to give love and sex
rule 3) bring your brain to increase our strengths
 
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Rule #2 is controlling. Sometimes people are not in the mood. This sounds like that is not an option.
 
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ule #Rule 2 is controlling. Sometimes people are not in the mood.

why do you put NEGATIVE SENSE in a simple phrase ???

you ADD something that is NOT inside the phrase
 
What have I added? You said that your potential partners must follow the "rule" of always being available for sex. I'm saying that that's unrealistic, that sometimes people are not in the mood and therefore not available. By calling that controlling, I am adding nothing but a judgement of the rule you present.

Furthermore, requiring them to be always available for sex is not only controlling but treats them like property. Romantic partners are not cattle to be bred on demand.
 
your opinion is 100% wrong

but it is your opinion

I am not here to "discuss opinions"
and you are not a tribunal.

good luck
 
An opinion can be neither right nor wrong. That's why it's an opinion.

You may want to look elsewhere to find people to control. I think you'll find my opinion is shared by a majority of the members of this forum.

hmm... now that I think about it, it seems that #2 incompatible with #3. You want people to bring their brains, and yet not notice that you are trying to control them. And as soon as someone uses their brain and points that out, you tell them they're wrong. That is not a sign of strength, buddy.
 
your opinion is "an opinion"

Your opinion is "an opinion"

even if 20 000 000 people have the same "opinion".

And

I am not here to discuss "your opinion"

Good luck
 
I happen to agree with ShrodingersCat that your rule 2 is controlling. MUST ALWAYS BE available for sex doesn't sound like a relationship to me, more like sexual slavery. There are plenty of times I haven't felt like sex and my partners have NEVER pressured me. I would like to know how you, Fleurisseur, think that this rule is respectful of everyone in your little poly family...care to educate me? Or will you simply refuse to discuss our 'opinion' of this rule of yours because you can't make a valid argument to defend it?
 
...I am not here to discuss "your opinion"...

Well, that is unfortunate.

I happen to agree with SC's opinion - and so may many people that may be the very people that you are "searching" for - so you may want to examine YOUR opinion a little closer. The best way that I know to do that is to discuss those opinions. Since this is a public forum, it seems like this would be an ideal place to do so...unfortunately, you do not agree - so it seems as though we are at an impasse.

I wish you all the best - but I do think that "rule #2" is going to exclude the vast majority of people who could conceivably be interested.

I was also intrigued/put off by the requirement for ONE man and TWO women - like you are looking for cookie-cutter puzzle pieces to conform to some over-arching "plan" - should the "ONE man and TWO women" be a pre-existing unit or are you interviewing individuals for these positions? You also do not mention the sexual orientations of the existing family or the expectation for sexual orientations/sexual involvement of the the "ONE man and TWO women" that you are seeking - would a gay guy and two post-op MTF trannies be acceptable? Are they expected to have sex with ALL SEVEN existing family members - as well as each other? I've never been sexually attracted to 7 people at the same time in my LIFE, let alone NINE - and I am an admitted SLUT! (In my experience it is hard enough to get THREE people on the same page relationship-wise, but TEN...?)

Good luck with that...

JaneQ
 
Hello fleurisseur,

I don't want to say too much about your rules, as whatever they are they seem to be working for your family so far. I had to chuckle when you said you were a small polyfamily, because two guys, five ladies, and seven kids adds up to 14 people! :) There must be moments that are ... challenging, with so many individuals and one household. Hmmm, maybe there is more than one household, I shouldn't assume.

To let people know what you're looking for, I'd suggest the Dating & Friendships subforum.

You definitely have the right rule in Rule #1.

Wishing you the best,
Kevin T.
 
he already knows about the dating & friendships forum. He got no results there so he posted the same damn thing to every single sub-forum like what you see in the original post of this thread. The moderator deleted most of those threads and left this one. I'm not sure why the one was left remaining in Introductions, since Fleurisseur is not "new" here, but if you look at his profile, has been posting on and off for a couple of years. Most people seem to think he's kind of... odd, let's just put it that way.
 
I just received a PM from the OP. He said he is building a poly family and wants to know me. Obviously he has never read any of my posts about what I want in my relationships -- I'm def not interested in being part of a poly family! Furthermore, he's in France, and I'm in NYC. :confused: Then I noticed this thread. Ugh, I don't know how anyone would be interested if he's got a rule that they must always provide sex. I'm nobody's sex toy. If he said that to my face, I'd spit in his eye.
 
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I guess there have been quite some messages ... I received one as well. Interesting way of building a family. Randomly picking up strangers on the net won't work ... as far as my humble opinion is concerned.
 
to Kevin

Hello Kevin

It is a pleasure to see that you do not find our "rules" to be slavery....
There is no pressure.
It is just a sign, not a gun on your head

If you are not in the mood of playing cards (or to have sex) there is no punishment...

Just keep in mind that other ones could be waiting for you to play cards (or to have sex). Could you make an effort, or absolutely not ?​

The rules just mean "respect the other ones".
If they "need you" , please try to be available.
 
I guess there have been quite some messages ... I received one as well. Interesting way of building a family. Randomly picking up strangers on the net won't work ... as far as my humble opinion is concerned.

aww no! how come i wasn't invited to the party i mean the poly-family? it SAYS they're looking for a man AND women. i feel left out, excluded even. what am i doing wrong, what could i be doing differently? i'm available for sex and i have a brain! am i not honest enough for you? what gives? won't you at least let me fill out an application?
 
Re:
"If you are not in the mood of playing cards (or to have sex) there is no punishment ...
Just keep in mind that other ones could be waiting for you to play cards (or to have sex). Could you make an effort, or absolutely not?"

Yeah, I kind of suspected it was to be interpreted that way.

Anyway, I apologize if I have bumbled into the conversation without much knowledge of the context. :) Carry on, all.
 
Hello
we are a small polyfamily
2 men, 5 women, 7 kids


rule 1) never lie
rule 2) be always available to give love and sex
rule 3) bring your brain to increase our strengths
I'm going to jump into this conversation, late as I might be. fleurisseur, you define yourself as a philosopher. It appears that you're even a TEACHER of philosophy. Since Philosophy isn't a subject offered in primary school, and only [rarely] in the upper age-range of secondary schools, the probability is that you're a Philosophy teacher in higher education: university or technical college or something.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Philosophy EXTREMELY interested in (philistines would even say "obsessed with / pedantic about") the meaning of words, EXTREMELY cautious about how words are used/misused?

In your OP, you write "rule 2) be always available to give love and sex". Then when members of this board object to this rule, you counter with "why do you put NEGATIVE SENSE in a simple phrase ???"; "your opinion is 100% wrong"; "It is just a sign, not a gun on your head"...

Now, IMAO [in my arrogant opinion], the non-professional-philosopher members of this forum have a better grasp of at least 2 key words than you do: "rule" and "always".

There is a rule where I live that you're not allowed to park next to a double yellow line. If somebody breaks this rule it's unlikely - this NOT being the USA - that the police would hold a gun to their head. But it's still a rule.

What you might have meant is "guideline 2) All [adult - assuming you don't include the kids in guideline 2), though I would hope that guidelines 1) and 3) do apply to them] members of the family should be open to the possibility of having sex with any or all of the others, should not reject that possibility through personal dislike or prejudice". Even with this as a guideline, I think that many people would have doubts about joining your family. It's one thing for Jesus to ask that we love our enemies. It's another to ask people to be sexually available for / turned on by any particular person not of their choosing.

***

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Philosophy EXTREMELY interested in the exchange of points of view, in listening to - and considering - others' opinions? A statement such as "your opinion is 100% wrong" doesn't instill in me a great faith in your philosophical merits. More than one comment on this thread backs up SchrodingersCat's opinion. But - of course -
Your opinion is "an opinion"

even if 20 000 000 people have the same "opinion".

And

I am not here to discuss "your opinion"
Too many of us poor mortals lose sight of the fact that fleurisseur is always right, and that it's a sign of mental feebleness to hold opinions that he doesn't share. Personally, I would advise you to seek some line of work more in harmony with your personality. Instead of Philosophy professor, you should maybe be swami or guru or Buddha... at the very least Pope.

***
Last edited by AutumnalTone; 01-13-2013 at 11:54 PM. Reason: removed "looking for" statement as off-topic on this board
I understand the reason for this decision, but I find it a shame that these lines were deleted, because they give added insight into this "family", helping us to steer clear of it. Thanks to that "looking for" in the reason given, as well as
I was also intrigued/put off by the requirement for ONE man and TWO women
I can put 2 and 2 together and suspect (not assume) that your original post was trying to expand a 2man-5woman family to a 3man-7woman one. WHY? WHY are you so interested in keeping the man/woman ratio more or less the same? Even though on another thread - started by you - you state that
but I confirm : in our polyfamily all women are bisexual, since day one.
and offer
So, please my darling, don't be afraid to become bisexual, I will help you.
If everybody should love / have sex with everybody else in the family, and all are encouraged to be bisexual (REALLY bisexual), WHY should it matter whether new members are men or women?

Oh, NOW it has clicked!!! The women are supposed to be bisexual. OK, I get it. "2+ hot bi chicks for every man! And since there's a rule that they should be always available to give love and sex, if you [a man] don't get your first choice tonight, you have a good chance of getting your #2... and a shot at #1 tomorrow." And maybe the women are supposed to cook and clean, especially the toilets. [A favourite rant of mine: in mixed-sex shared homes, it's generally - notice that I wrote generally - the men who piss on the floor next to the toilet bowl*... and it's the women who keep the toilets from getting disgusting.]

***

fleurisseur, fleurisseur: unlike other, more generous, spirits on this thread, I do NOT wish your project "all the best". Frankly, I worry about those 7 children. What sort of attitudes are they being brought up with? And as soon as they reach the legal age of consent, are they expected to follow rule 2)?

***

All in all, sounds like a pretty scuzzy outfit to me, but hey, don't let me put the rest of you off: you might be PROUD to live with the Pope.

* Even if all the piss lands in the bowl, it sends up a spray of urine+water that coats the rim of the bowl as well as the nearby floor [and walls]. WHEN will men learn than sitting down to piss robs NOTHING of their virility??? [This last comment might be removed by moderators for being off-topic.:rolleyes::eek:]
 
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