Monogamy vs. Polyamory

Marco

New member
Pardon me if this has already been posted before but I thought I'd share anyways for those who yet to come across it.

Seems like there's a lot of hatred toward the Polyamory lifestyle as exhibited by this article.

I come across this sort of stuff every now and then and I find it humorous actually. Mainly because I didn't even realize Polyamory, as a lifestyle, was popular enough to attract such hatred.

Mention the words Polyamory or Polyamorous to the average person, and I bet they'll respond like, "Poly what?"

Anyways...what's your take on articles such as this?
 
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My first response is anything that is different will have haters. Poly, while it might seem new isn't. People automatically attach it polygamy etc. Its a difficult concept to grasp...everyone has their one and only, right?

My second response is a lot more...ignorant I suppose. I am glad his God doesn't appreciate my polyamorous behaviour...thank god I don't answer to his God... Preaching for me puts my ruffles up almost immediately. Its a great way to get me ignoring what you are saying.

As for

Mention the words Polyamory or Polyamorous to the average person, and I bet they'll respond like, "Poly what?"

Thats why I just say I am open. Its easier, has no context and doesn't imply something like "I want to love a bunch of people"...personally I am in an open relationship and I have the possibility/ability to fall in love with others. So poly was simply an extension of what I was already doing. I didn't love everyone I was with when I was single, I don't think thats possible with everyone I may be with....but again thats my personal understanding and attachment. Either way, the people that hate it will be haters :)...

Man I am having a serious problem with the english language today. I can't form proper sentences or even spell....arg
 
I always find it semi-amusing, in the sarcastic sense, when people make up facts but don't tell their sources, for instance the abortion rates of poly vs. mono people. But considering the author of the original article, I can't be too surprised.

My one question though revolves around his use of this statement, "polymorphous serial polygamy, or “polyamory” for short." I swear he just threw some words together!

polymorphous: "The occurrence of different forms, stages, or types in individual organisms or in organisms of the same species, independent of sexual variations" and "having, taking, or passing through many different forms or stages"

polygamy: "the practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same time"

Dude needs to do his research when he's throwing words and concepts before making this crap up. Basically it looks like he's saying polyamory is continually changing multi-person marriages.

But as I said, I'm not too surprised. As Ariakas said, anything different will have people who hate (read "fear") it. And when trying to prove their point, will separate and ignore any positive aspects of that different thing.
 
Oh my...

My personal favourite in the article was not the article itself but the lovely racism thread started at the bottom... because that really gave some nice credibility to this piece of 'journalism'.

I also laughed out loud at one of the comments saying something about being supportive of poly, but only the 'moderate' form of it. If someone could please define what 'moderate polyamory' is, I would be most grateful for the enlightenment.

What do I think of this kind of view on polyamory? I think the average, sane, person would see this article as narrow-minded, hateful bigotry.

People are free to disagree with polyamory, I don't have an issue with people thinking it's wrong based on their individual belief system. Making broad, unsubstantiated, and outlandish statements like those in this article only make the writer look foolish and easily discredited. Writing an article does not make one a 'journalist'. Makes for a fine piece of trashy fiction though :p
 
I was already thinking "crazy" and then I got to the part about how polyamory creates equal gender roles... and he's saying it as if it's a bad thing.

Also I'd love to know why polyamory is expensive - that just made me laugh. Because you are going on more dates?
 
There's another thread that links to an article by the same author with the same set of ridiculous points.

I also really want to know how polyamory is more expensive to society. Expensive in what sense? To whom? The larger the support network someone has, the less likely they will need assistance from the government in tough times. Particularly because we are a "sterile and contracting culture" that is never the less after your children.
 
I was already thinking "crazy" and then I got to the part about how polyamory creates equal gender roles... and he's saying it as if it's a bad thing.

Also I'd love to know why polyamory is expensive - that just made me laugh. Because you are going on more dates?

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Just the synopsis and critique made me laugh out loud. Yes he is crazy and uninformed...no doubt! I wonder how many "poly" men realize that this is a lifestyle for gender equality in a relationship as well as their liberation from controlling sex and love and family in a patriarchal system.
Do they know they are trailblazers for Women's Rights. LMAO! I would never challenge the fact that this writer points out gender equality in a poly lifestyle or dispute that poly women realize and exercise their independent thoughts on life and living it. Thanks guy for emphasizing exactly what monogamy at its root is!! Sorry monos...but I don't consider you socially backward if you are on here...you are just coming to terms with traditional indoctrination! Right? LOL!:D
 
My opinion of it is, it's the usual "blah blah blah"

Racists, homophobes, religious zealouts... anyone with an internet connection and two fingers can write a bunch of crap and post it on a website. They'll always be there, and they'll always spew garbage. And I'll just keep on ignoring them.
 
Quoting the article: "In the culture of monogamy, gender roles are more differentiated, with women more likely to devote their time to the tasks of motherhood and the men more likely to be the sole or main source of family income. The culture of polyamory is much more androgynous, its main focus being equality of outcomes for both men and women in the workplace and in the home. "

Ha ha, and this is bad about Poly because???????.........
 
That's the thing about "meeting people where they are at" or "meeting people halfway". I will not do that if it includes fundies. Are they going to meet ME halfway or where I'm at? I think not.
 
You see as soon as I hear or read the word God in the same sentence with something of hate I hit the off switch. I have a pretty extreme religious back ground from my childhood. No celebrating holidays (they are pagan), no birthdays ( "God banned it because John the baptiser was killed"), blood transfusions were forbidden. Ect ect ect. I'm now 99% agnostic, but I still carry some teachings with me. Things like, here are YOUR guidelines on you to live YOUR life. It's God's right to judge and it's a sin for us to think we are in a position to do his job. Another lesson I remember is that we were not to persecute those with different beliefs. We were not supposed to hate them, but be sad for them in their blindness, to feel love for them and hope the best for them. I truly HATE talking religon with anyone, but with a person who truly just feels like expressing their own beliefs about their life... I will listen. Someone spewing hate and using their "bible as their sword." I am more than willing to say get the eff out my face. But that's not the point of this topic.

I truly find the "negatives" comepltely hilarious.I didn't read the whole thing. I have an involuntary cut off switch. But I think it's quite interesting that in one sentence we are way to open and risky and in the next we are too controlled because we make plans to have a specific outcome... Omg the horrors of LIFE! Every decision I make has an expectation of the outcome. How do the two relate? Who the hell cares? I pity people like this. I pity their followers, their family, and their children. I can't imagine what life would be like behind closed doors with someone who is beaten by is own lack of knowledge and fear so he turns it to hate. Ick! But yeah, I can give a rat's ass about articles like this. I'm sure there is another hate filled article of someone attacking this author. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. *puts foil hat on* Everything is hated by someone without accurate information. It doesn't matter to me. What I worry about is when words are not enough for these people...
 
You see as soon as I hear or read the word God in the same sentence with something of hate I hit the off switch.

You were a JW; my husband was raised as one too. He refers to it as a "cult". He hits the "off" switch as soon as he hears the word "god" whether it's attached to hatefulness or not. Religion or any sort of spirituality is something he will not discuss. He gets very uncomfortable and squirmy and asks me to stop if i try to have a conversation about it with him (I'm not even religious but I do go to church services and functions once in a while for different reasons - but not JW). He says he is dealing with it in his own way. It's almost like a childhood trauma.
 
You were a JW; my husband was raised as one too. He refers to it as a "cult". He hits the "off" switch as soon as he hears the word "god" whether it's attached to hatefulness or not. Religion or any sort of spirituality is something he will not discuss. He gets very uncomfortable and squirmy and asks me to stop if i try to have a conversation about it with him (I'm not even religious but I do go to church services and functions once in a while for different reasons - but not JW). He says he is dealing with it in his own way. It's almost like a childhood trauma.

Sigh... This makes me sad. Yes I was. And I've been where he has been. Each congregation has it's own level of "cultness." I was lucky because my father was not JW so I had access to the outside world. Also in my last years I moved to cali and the congregation there was... So different. It was so not... Culty (I know I'm making up words.) The trauma isn't easy to explain to others. The way I dealt with is is 1) avoid all attatchments to religon. 2) I broke down the beast, as I like to say. Does he know that Charles Taz Russel was a habadasher in the late 1800s? A freaking mens accessory maker! I pulled up JW and charles taz russell on wikipedia and I just couldn't believe it. It really helped! 3) I made peace with the fact that this happened to me. (I say it like that because for some of us... It changes you. It damages you.) And I accepted that there was no changing the past. I'm free of it and I am safe and happy. and I forced myself to find the positive out of this experience... That took alot of digging, but there were some. Big huggs to him from me just to let him know he's so not alone. There are also support groups online. I lurked for a long time. But beware of the extremist anti JW websites. They are just as delusional.
 
Yea, one of his sisters goes to "recovering JW" support-groups... One way he deals with it is by using it as material for stand-up comedy. He is one of eight kids and all but 2 have left the JW's. Out of the two who still go, one is married to a guy who is not JW, but their kids go to KH and all that.

I guess I would rather be with someone who doesn't blindly follow any sort of dogma instead of someone who never questions what their religion says.
 
Sad..........just sad.
But it points out one of the biggest threats to humanity right now.
Ignorance and religious indoctrination. The whole world is at war right now (internally and externally) over the concepts surrounding faith (blind) and the scramble for power.

Scary to think that there are millions of people out there right now that are sitting back, listening to this ignorant kind of ranting and rambling and actually giving it some credibility ! They are incapable of critiquing something as obviously ignorant as this.

And I mean "ignorant" in the true sense of the term. This poor soul (whoever he was) is obviously so lacking in intelligence & education that he's a danger to himself and anyone who would listen to a word he says !

For those that see beyond it - it is laughable. But when you finally stop laughing you get really worried ! These people can vote. Then can hold office. They can be responsible for life/death decisions.

Scary.....scary....scary.

GS
 
Being one who always has questions and isn't afraid to ask them I learned they have an answer for everything! And the majority of the time they will make sense. But I'm not sure how outsiders decide to be with a JW... It throw me off. My mom got into it when I was two. She had been married to my dad for 13 years beforehand so I understand that... But someone knowingly walking into it? I don't get it. And OMG I'd love to hear a few jokes!
 
That's what I thought too; he was baptized at age 19 and left at age 21. I asked why did you stay in it for so long then suddenly decide to leave? He said it seemed to make sense the way it was explained why all other religions are "wrong", but finally left because they had no better arguments for why JW is always "right".

But, like yourself, I don't understand how a thinking person could join a relatively marginal religion like that. Not only does it forbid the celebration of anything except weddings and wedding anniversaries, but it doesn't allow members to pursue higher education or vote.
 
Well, it sounds like the typical religious zealot who believes what he wants to believe whether or not reality supports it, and makes up what he wants to call "facts".

I like how monogamy is child-friendly and poly is adult-centered. Hey, does that mean I don't have to be a parent any more? Cause it's awfully hard. So much easier if I can be completely selfish like they imply.

I couldn't read the whole thing in one go. Articles like that make me crazy. You can't argue with someone who's completely unconcerned with reality. But I was surprised to learn that polyamory has long been a problem in the black community. I had no idea! Fascinating.
 
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