Our introduction (by Rob)

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LoveBirds

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I haven't used a forum in a while. Sorry for the name, I failed to read the guidelines but I will be posting most of the time.

My name is Rob. 33 and very much in love with my GF who is the same age. She is very much in love with me as well. She really wants to expand the family. We're not interested in having children at the moment but we are interested in expanding our family. A lot of love exists here and a lot of good times. We don't smoke actually recently quit but we do enjoy having a good time, sitting on our behinds watching movies and gaming. Board games sometimes too. We recently moved and we are just having a good time with ourselves because we don't really know anyone around here.

She was really digging into me last night to find a way to meet some people specifically for dating together. I saw this website on a search and decided to check it out. I like it. I am going to go check it out after I finish writing this. We're interested in long term but whatever happens is up to fate and that's fine. We're good people. I work from home so I am here most days taking care of business and making sure my family is taken care of. It's just us and a few ferrets. We get compliments on how well our apartment smells because we aren't lazy. We just started getting in better shape and we weren't that bad to begin with. I can tell you this, my GF was married for a while to a real weirdo and now that she has come out of her shell and realizes how sexy she is, she is getting really hot. Nothing is prettier than her personality. She would take care of anyone in need and so would I. I want some more people to cook for too. I make good food.

That's all I can think of at the moment, I want to go check out the rest of the site. It might be a couple days before I upload any photos. Thanks for the free registration and I hope to learn something here in the very least. -Rob
 
Greetings Rob (and GF ;)),
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Ferrets, heh. One of my best friends ever had a ferret. The darn rascal had a way of slithering right into your heart. :D

Heh, have you tried the couple of poly-friendly dating sites I know of?

Consider also looking for poly groups in your area. Try googling "San Antonio polyamory" for instance. And ...

"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations

And ...

Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Just some thoughts. The Friends/Dating subforum on this site might help as well.

You guys seem to be a tantalizing couple. I'd be interested myself if only I lived a bit closer.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hello & welcome!


She was really digging into me last night to find a way to meet some people specifically for dating together.

Dating together isn't usually very successful when it's planned. It is nigh on impossible to find someone who will be equally interested in two people who are a couple, if you're looking for more than just sexual hook-ups. If it's emotional/romantic involvement you want, that kind of dynamic (known as a triad) is often something that evolves naturally out of relationships that start out separately at first. However, successful triads are extremely rare.

Be open to each of you pursuing your own relationships independently, and take your time, and it's possible that down the road you might find that one of you has a partner who wants to be with both of you. But it's not very likely that you'll be able to create a triad right off the bat - at least not in a healthy, loving way, though you could probably find people for short-term flings and threesomes right away.
 
Hello & welcome!




Dating together isn't usually very successful when it's planned. It is nigh on impossible to find someone who will be equally interested in two people who are a couple, if you're looking for more than just sexual hook-ups. If it's emotional/romantic involvement you want, that kind of dynamic (known as a triad) is often something that evolves naturally out of relationships that start out separately at first. However, successful triads are extremely rare.

Be open to each of you pursuing your own relationships independently, and take your time, and it's possible that down the road you might find that one of you has a partner who wants to be with both of you. But it's not very likely that you'll be able to create a triad right off the bat - at least not in a healthy, loving way, though you could probably find people for short-term flings and threesomes right away.

I completely disagree with you. I am out to create a successful triad and so is my girlfriend. We don't want to have separate boyfriend and girlfriend. That's not what polyamory is about to us. It is very likely that this will happen and soon because there is someone out there who can fit perfectly. These are different times that we lived in. For example, when I was in grade school (1st) there was one kid in my school who's parents were divorced. All I'm trying to say is that people have needs and instead of having booty calls on the side we'd rather share. She's bisexual, I'm not. I don't want her with another man and she doesn't want another man. She wants a woman. Whether we all start living together is one thing, and that's hard to do but with time it will happen. Thanks for the welcoming and yes sir, ferrets steal your heart.
 
ataroma Rebecca

Greetings Rob (and GF ;)),
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Ferrets, heh. One of my best friends ever had a ferret. The darn rascal had a way of slithering right into your heart. :D

Heh, have you tried the couple of poly-friendly dating sites

Thank you very much. I really like ferrets now and I had never had the chance before now to interact. Really smart animal, just not the best sight and very clumsy lol. I figured this is the most normal place I could go where there won't be a picture of a wiener every click. And naked people. That's moving to fast.
 
I completely disagree with you.
That's fine. Disagree all you want. Your disagreeing doesn't change the rate of probability. It's good that you're here and talking about what you want - this forum is a great resource to educate yourselves. Have you read much of it? You will find a wealth of information if you use the Advanced Search and Tag Search functions for the terms "triad," "unicorn," and "couple dating," for a start. And take a look at our Website and Book Recommendations thread.

I am out to create a successful triad and so is my girlfriend. We don't want to have separate boyfriend and girlfriend. That's not what polyamory is about to us.
I understand that's what you want. That's what a lot of newbie couples comprised of a straight male and bisexual female want. We read their stories here every day. Then reality sinks in. After having read those stories here for nearly the past four years, and talking to people at in-person poly gatherings, what I have seen is that the successful, long-term triads have only come to be after having evolved organically out of friendships or separate relationships - never when a couple goes looking for one. Most people here will agree with me (unless they are newbies with unicorn-shaped stars in their eyes). And those successful ones are few and far between. Seeking to plunk someone down into a triad configuration like a puzzle-piece very rarely has a happy ending.

It is very likely that this will happen and soon because there is someone out there who can fit perfectly.
Are you saying you already know someone who has expressed interest? If so, well, then good for you! Congrats. If not, unless you live in an extremely poly-friendly city, it will be extremely difficult to find someone - that's just a fact. As I stated in my earlier post, you can easily find bi or bi-curious chicks who just want threesomes. But if you are looking for loving relationships, it is much more of a challenge to find one bi woman who will be compatible with and desire both of you at the same level. That is all I am saying - there is a reason they call them unicorns. A bi woman who will easily fit right in with loving and sexing an existing couple, and who will be very compatible personality-wise, intellectually, and in other ways with both of them, is pretty much a mythical, impossible-to-find creature.

These are different times that we lived in. For example, when I was in grade school (1st) there was one kid in my school who's parents were divorced.
I don't know what that has to do with anything. I'm not talking about 30 or 40 years ago - I am talking about today.

All I'm trying to say is that people have needs and instead of having booty calls on the side we'd rather share.
Yes, well, you and she want to "share" this third person, but will that woman want to share herself with you both? People aren't objects to be shared by others, anyway. People share themselves or not. The "Couple Plus One" stance very rarely works out successfully.

I get that you don't want casual sex, and I wasn't recommending that. But when you start looking for a girlfriend to date both of you, be prepared and know that is what you will most readily find, as opposed to someone who wants a serious relationship with a M/F couple. It won't be easy, if it happens at all.

Most of all, think more about what you could offer such a person, not just what you and your gf want out of it.

She's bisexual, I'm not. I don't want her with another man and she doesn't want another man. She wants a woman. Whether we all start living together is one thing, and that's hard to do but with time it will happen.
When you search this forum, I recommend you also look up the term "One Penis Policy."

There needs to be a dating period, without a doubt. No relationship falls into place instantly. If you do meet someone who wants to date you both, take it slowly, don't expect or demand exclusivity right away, and be sure to each date her separately, and not always as a couple. There are four relationships in a triad: A + B; A + C; B + C; and A + B + C. Take your time, let each person grow in the relationship at their own pace, even if you get impatient, and don't move anyone in with you until at least a year of dating.

If anyone wants to move in with you right away, be suspicious. Many a couple has been burned by young manipulative women who only took advantage of them for a place to stay or financial help.

I wish you luck!
 
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I didn't create this thread for you to blowhorn advice through it. I appreciate you attempting to give us advice but we're not interested in what you have to say and your defining polyamory for me so please stop wasting your time. Do you have a personal story you can relate this too? Something that YOU went through? You can read every book and thread in the world sweetheart and it's still not gonna be the real experience. We'll get there, just not with your attitude. Yes, we love sex but I clearly stated having a bigger family. That doesn't mean everyone just has sex with just us but I am ending this discussion. Glad to be here everyone! I hope to start some real friendships. Shoot, I'd fly someone out here to hang for a weekend.
 
Generally people start threads here looking for advice. If you don't want any, and just hunting for a gf to "share" with your wife, NYCindie, a mod, can move your thread to our personals section.

You probably won't find a unicorn here, however. That is why they are called unicorns.
 
Sigh. Everyone wants to form a perfect triad and they are all "different than all the other couples." You can find a dozen ads on Fetlife advertising for a unicorn. And no actual examples of a couple successfully finding a woman "together" that they can "share equally."

Nycindie, as a unicorn, I appreciate your efforts to educate them on what they need to do to find that right woman. But you're wasting your breath, and honestly they're harmless. Let em try and fail at finding a woman who loves them both "equally."

I'm patient enough to find the right couple (especially as I'm not limiting myself to ONE couple, but am developing my own relationships as well). Any woman with self worth, as I do believe I am, will not want anything to do with couples like that, so it's their loss, no one else's.
 
Generally people start threads here looking for advice. If you don't want any, and just hunting for a gf to "share" with your wife, NYCindie, a mod, can move your thread to our personals section.

You probably won't find a unicorn here, however. That is why they are called unicorns.

Generally introductions threads are for introductions. We are looking for a third partner. Are you threatening to have my thread moved because you think I made this thread to find a date? Why are you two so threatened by us we are just trying to be nice. Saying I don't want advice is fine. I didn't see that rule anywhere and who are you to judge us by saying we're here to just find a date and so what if we were Magdlyn? Either way this thread is not about all the perversion you're assuming and neither is my visit here. Can you just leave me alone? What is so bad? Why did you do this to our first thread? Thanks a lot.
 
Sex negative, unwilling to listen or reflect, won't self examine, defensive, confrontational, couple centric.. great candidates for polyamory(!)
 
Because you're being incredibly pig headed and naive and it is important to point out why. You won't listen, but maybe someone will and save themselves the grief and misery you're about to visit on yourselves and whatever unfortunate souls become involved with you.. Good Luck!
 
Because you're being incredibly pig headed and naive and it is important to point out why. You won't listen, but maybe someone will and save themselves the grief and misery you're about to visit on yourselves and whatever unfortunate souls become involved with you.. Good Luck!

I don't want to listen. I don't have to listen. You're not listening. I don't like your ideas or hers. I like mine and ours. I don't care what you think lmao....smh. Grief and misery sounds like words that are probably used in your life quite often. Not mine. We have fun. Polyamory is stated in this Forums Giudelines as being defined as many thing and the things that "it is not". lmao.....smh.....I am like in tears from laughter what happened did I not agree with your GF or something? Eventually I would like to just have to worry about what I am going to feed two people instead of one not what someone has to vent about wow. That is so rude but so tragically and comically just unstoppable omg lmfaooo!

I have never been confronted by such a rude group of people on a forum in my life, man may you be blessed. All of you that cannot just accept that my opinion is mine and I am not using this as a dating site although it says you can in the appropriate places this not being one of them but my introduction not being a dating ad. Wow. this is kinda fun though, I havent had conversations like this since I played Everquest 2
 
Sex negative, unwilling to listen or reflect, won't self examine, defensive, confrontational, couple centric.. great candidates for polyamory(!)

It's a intro thread man come on!!! People have sex can we be grown up and not be trendy and discuss it? It's part of life. Sex negative?? WTF IS THAT? Some new trendy ass term? WTF man this is so stupid. I didn't do anything to you. Confrontational? ARE YOU SERIOUS??????? Look at the Mods posts? How is that not confrontational? I say I like this, cindi says, you shouldnt it never works. I say it will, it does and it will, she comes back and ssays it wont over and over and then your firends come in. You should all be banned for starting issues and she shouuldnt be a moderator. Get off of me damn dude!
here it is in a nut shell

HI. ME AND MY GF LIKE POLYAMORY SO WE CAME HERE! WE WANT A GF. THIS IS WHO WE ARE! WE LIKE HAVING FUN!!! I AM INTRODUCING OURSELVES!!!

What major bug crawled up your behind?
 
I'm quite straight. Don't have a gf. Don't you think you look stupid trying to dismiss and insult people who have or are living the relationship style you're dreaming of? Stop being childish and defensive and listen to what experienced people are telling you to think about. People like you are here all the time. You.two.aren't unique.
 
Thanks for the free registration and I hope to learn something here in the very least. -Rob

I guess disagreeing with someone is being arrogant and pig headed. I ain't no pig and I ain't no bastard either. I cook and clean and work my ass off in this small apartment like its a mansion. Don't you judge me. I love everyone the same. Not fair.....not fair I shouldnt have to take kicks like this on a forum where we are polycurious. You people should be ashamed, except KDT and PolyPractice who is now a friend cause she talked to me one on one like a big girl and she is almost in the same boat so ; p
 
The idea that people are either in closed relationships or having booty calls is sex negative. It says booty calls are wrong and sex without love is inherently inferior, as well as hinting that sex itself is wrong unless cleansed by traditional commitment.
 
This convinces me it would be highly unethical to have a relationship with you.
 
The idea that people are either in closed relationships or having booty calls is sex negative. It says booty calls are wrong and sex without love is inherently inferior, as well as hinting that sex itself is wrong unless cleansed by traditional commitment.

Well, that's not how I feel so your whole theory about a booty call being used in the context I used it in is a sex negative, that theory is not only persumptious but completely idiotic. Anyways, sorry if you're offended but I don't know what else to say. Apprently your idea of what Love and a Booty Calls are, are two different things than what I think. Let me explain please:

Love. A feeling, a vibration, what I feel when I touch people, anyone. I massage someone I use love. I talk to someone I use love. I think of someone, I use love. I cannot have sex without love. I cannot just nail some whore. I don't need to go out and get my release. My release comes from watching how happy my GF is after I cook her dinner and tell her how beautiful she is. Love comes from helping someone with a computer problem whether online or in my little home office. We are doing it and we are doing it right. I wasn't judging anyone. A booty call is when you have sex. Typically assocaited with a specific person who is meant to have sex with for just sex. I say booty call for many reasons, although that makes no difference for this discussion.

Sounds like you people are way more focused on sex than I am. I just want to meet new freinds and have a good time but you guys don't want me to do that. you just want to start problems with me because you don't like my ideas. That's not okay. Leave me alone. if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it. I just disagreed, and apparently you can't do that in forums anymore. I need the feeling of love to have sex, every single person feels the vibrations of love when they have an orgasm. You have to. That's what it is. Every spasm releasing the same chemicals that release when (just a lot more) when you see that special soeone. It's just a difference in opinion of feeling and what love is which has been argued for ages and will always be until people wake up on this earth. I'm not here to debate that or anything. I am here to meet new people, this has been the most intereting day I have had in months.
 
I cannot just nail some whore.

Are we speaking about sex workers here, or rather, as I suspect, a woman who enjoys casual sex?
 
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