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Old 01-15-2011, 12:29 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Me, I'm a loner and been that way since pretty young. I enjoy close friendships, but don't ascribe special meaning to the word or concept of family. My own family (blood relatives) is pretty fucked up and dealing with them is usually a pain in the ass to me, but I never felt a need to create my own new and improved version of chosen family. I'd often rather be alone! And I like keeping things separate, and my sets of friends somewhat compartmentalized, so I can get away or express a different side of me with different people.
This so reminds me of my brother. He's my... hmmmm, I don't have a word. He's not my "best friend", it's more than that, and it's not "brother" cause I have several and it's more than that too. He's like my other half. Yin/Yang sort of thing I guess.

Ironically, I tend to keep my sets of friends separate too by choice, but it's been harder with so many kids. It was easy when I only had one, becuase I had more time and freedom to get away. When it was just Spicy Pea and I, I had several very separate groups of friends who I socialized with, but never together.
That was much more natural for me. I also lived damn near to 50 miles from any of them and had no car, so much of my time was alone and I liked that too.
One of my biggest complaints is that I don't get enough time alone since I married. In fact, I make Maca nuts because I LONG for my own bedroom, all my own. Just so I can be ALONE and NO ONE can come in it without an express invite. Makes him nuts, just the idea of it.

A lot of this is how people view certain words and the meanings we attach to them.
YES!! Yes it does!! The more Maca and I talk, the more clear it becomes that we've grown up with TOTALLY different definitions for the "Basic" words we use every day. That would be one of the primary reasons our relationship has been such a freaking roller coaster! We never ACTUALLY knew what the other is saying. We thought we did, but we didn't have the same meanings for the terms and so we weren't actually giving/receiving the message that was being passed.

However, he operates as if he is as invested as someone can be at this early stage, so who am I to argue with him about what he wants to call us? I am not worried about making it last forever, so I am staying focused on enjoying the here and now, and it feels really good. He can call me whatever he wants, and it could stay like this indefinitely, and I'd be happy. If it ended tomorrow, I'd be really sad and upset, but I'd be able to move on knowing he has already enriched my life, no matter what we call the relationship or each other.
I understand. I am actually more that way when given my own devices. If it weren't for my responsibilities here, I'd be totally ok with a relationship along those lines (been there done that and still enjoy periodically seeing that hot guy walk through the store, sharing a smile and going our separate ways, cause it didn't last forever, but while it lasted, it was awesome).

I think we understand each other pretty well NyCindie. Just living different lives. That's a good thing in my mind.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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