CherryBlossomGirl
Inactive
Beautifully put.
You say things beautifully. Makes perfect sense to me.
You say things beautifully. Makes perfect sense to me.
U saying triads doesn't work was not what I wanted to hear. I came here for support and that was the last thing I needed to hear. So please if u are not going to be suppostive and just tell me how I'm horrible and triads don't work
In my experience, triads are short lived and probably much more full of drama than most people can tolerate post NRE.
And in my personal experience triads can be long-lasting, low drama and are a wonderful way to live for all involved. But as in all relationships they require routine maintenance. It helps if the people involved have some life experience under their belts however and are realistic in their expectations. Compromises are inevitable.
I wish you the best of luck.
I have yet to hear of one...wow, where are all these really long term FMF Poly-fi triads hiding? I wish they would just...pipe up.....
LOL Jane, I am not talking only of Polyamory.com.
I DO associate in the offline Poly community you know?
A "really long term FMF Poly-fi triad" is not likely to be part of offline poly communities either - for the same reasons. As they are "poly-fi" they are not looking for new partners, they wouldn't be looking for support and advice as to how to "do" poly because they are "doing" it just fine, etc. You wouldn't see them because they are busy doing other stuff (hobbies, careers, raising kids/grandkids, etc) poly would be a stable small part of their lives at that point.
JaneQ
A "really long term FMF Poly-fi triad" is not likely to be part of offline poly communities either - for the same reasons. As they are "poly-fi" they are not looking for new partners, they wouldn't be looking for support and advice as to how to "do" poly because they are "doing" it just fine, etc.
Just want to point out that this is really getting off topic and I would really prefer not to hijack the OP's thread further about something that really has little to do with her specifically.
I'm not sure it is off-topic. Exploring a triad is a big adventure, and there are certainly enough people around that act as doomsayers and harbingers of woe to those who are brave enough to talk about the challenges they are facing.
So it might well be of use for the OP to hear that the idea of a well-functioning triad is not a totally crazy one.
So, perhaps I am a naysayer but I don't mind, since there can be too much coddling, encouraging of unrealistic ideals and supporting dysfunctional relationships on this poly board.
Natja
Fixed it for you.
Just want to point out that this is really getting off topic and I would really prefer not to hijack the OP's thread further about something that really has little to do with her specifically.
I was however very taken back by the first one. As if I wasnt depressed as it was that response made me feel more horrible about my self than ever...
This is very new to us and for you to say the things you said was extremely hurtful to me. U saying triads doesn't work was not what I wanted to hear. I came here for support and that was the last thing I needed to hear. So please if u are not going to be suppostive and just tell me how I'm horrible and triads don't work. Then please do not comment on my posts.
Why do you think that offline Poly communities only exist to find new partners or receive advice? I don't know where you are but that is definitely not the case over here. Perhaps that is more the case abroad? If so, I would then understand why you would think that.
However, saying that, those old guard you referred to do tend to be a lot more activist minded than younger folks and you would expect to see them amongst the more political side of all alternative lifestylers and yet....they are still not around (I am more in the political arena really).
And if no one is ever seeing them, just presuming they must exist because...they must. Could that be considered proof, or just mere speculation? Like trying to prove the existence of Gods really.....these long lived happy triads we are expected to believe exist based upon faith and hearsay.
Some of us are saying that some people DO see them. The fact that you don't see them doesn't mean they don't exist - if you are looking in the wrong places.
It was asked for a FMF poly triad to speak up, so I will. I live with my boyfriend and girlfriend we've been together for about five years and living together for three. My boyfriend and I started off as the established relationship. It hasn't been easy but we love being a triad. We also see other people but I didn't see the OP saying that they weren't allowed to see other people... so yeah. Happy, healthy FMF triad. It happens.