Originally Posted by River
Anyone wanting to rekindle a spark in a long term relationship should -- methinks -- count their blessings about their wonderful partner. Do it often. Do it well. And fantasize the hell out of the factual reality concerning how precious and lovely they really are.
I think it adds something to the "spark" of my long-term relationship; it's not something I do to "force" myself to have sex with my partner. It allows me to enjoy two people at once without the complications of having a threesome. Also, I don't think about another person the whole time, or every time. And doing these things has no bearing whatsoever on recognizing the "preciousness and loveliness" of the relationship I have with my long-term partner. The fact that I/we/you are able to have sex with more than one person and not have it mean we love any of them less should already speak to that reality, and there is no call to "fantasize the hell" out of it.