(Biologically, of course, I'm very much a man.)
((Well, I'm ALL man for those who want it like that!))
According to some stories
on the matter, I'm more like a woman than like a man in my sexual response. I'm turned on by tenderness, affection, love, care, sensitivity -- and it doesn't matter if it comes from a man or a woman (yes, I'm bi). Now, of course, we're dealing with a steriotype here, and also probably with some "statistical normality" (google it).
I'm saying this because it contextualizes, for me, my empathy with those who don't want to imagine their partners imagining being with someone else during sex--however "practical". For some of us, the turn on is very significantly about feeling cherished, desired (personally) and all that girly stuff.
Preemptively: I have my feminist registration card out already. Here it is.
Anyone wanting to rekindle a spark in a long term relationship should -- methinks -- count their blessings about their wonderful partner. Do it often. Do it well. And fantasize the hell out of the factual reality concerning how precious and lovely they really