If the only time he is in a good mood enough to talk about it is "when he is very drunk," then it sounds to me like he has a problem with alcohol. That could be the bigger problem.
It sounds like you are very reasonable and open-minded, willing to do almost anything to try and save your marriage. It sounds like you are a very special person who deserves love and respect.
Only you can know when you've reached your limit emotionally, but if you are being physically injured, GET OUT NOW.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy