Originally Posted by celiset
Um, you don't *have* to do anything. Jeez.
*You* get an attitude with me over something trivial in the last post, and in this post still manage to make it seem like it's *my* fault? At least my bf and I both know that neither of us can *make* the other feel anything. How you feel is an independent choice. So if you're feeling frustrated, take a look at yourself first.
To be honest, both he and I have read your "radical honesty" in previous posts and we see you as condescending, codependent, and a big fat know it all. How's that for radical honesty?
For everyone else, you all seem really nice and I appreciate your help.
I think I'll take my questions elsewhere.
Unfortunately I find it necessary to revisit this comment. Although I usually try to de-escalate negativity with an over dose of positivism there are some glaring points to note in this that may provide an opportunity to learn from.
I recognize this aggressive, illogical and outright immature approach to dealing with your own shit because I have done it as well. It is generally from a place of fear that people lash out at those that try to help them. Compounding this may be a general inability to understand the help being offered or in understanding that those trying to do so need to understand what the issue is with clear and logical details.
In attacking Redpepper, you have probably denied yourself a valuable insight into how to approach your issue. While she does not know everything, she has a huge amount of experience in many things dealing with relationship dynamics, sexuality, and certainly how to build a functioning, healthy and positive poly relationship. You and your boyfriend are new to this and, if you want a much smoother path in your journey, you would do well to open up to the people who walked the path already. Your choice.
While we'd love to see you stay, share and hopefully work through this issue with the help on this forum, it sounds as if you have become discouraged. I apologize for that and wish you luck in seeking other resources...just try to be clear and receptive in the future no matter where you find yourselves.
Peace and Love