I've been on here a lot the past few weeks, reading other people's stories, re-reading my own story, and writing a lot, almost obsessively. A few nights ago it all sort of came to a head. I had a jumble of thoughts come together and I sat down and wrote what turned into a 2 and a half page (when pasted into Word) email to Gia and Eric. It covered:
What might being a family look like for us long-term with me not living with them and not co-parenting but staying involved?
The fact that I do think of us as family, or at least I see it as a goal, and I need to know if that vision conflicts with theirs.
How Davis fits in, as the one other person I'd bestow that term upon.
The fact that I love all three of them, in different ways, explicitly including Eric, and want that to be out there.
The fact that even though, yes, we could end up moving apart, that doesn't change things for me.
That it's ok if they're unsure but if their first reaction is "um, she's crazy" then either I need to dial my expectations back or they need to decide to dial theirs up.
That I don't want to disrespect my relationship with Gia by addressing the letter to both of them, but that this is a group question.
That I'm not asking for any change in day to day operations.
That I know it's a weird, uncertain time to be opening this question.
That I'm asking anyway because I just see myself going deeper and deeper in internally and need to know if I ought to pull back.
I hit save instead of send and decided to sit on it for a little while.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.