Originally Posted by TruckerPete
Everyone should be treated fairly, not equally.
Seems to me when I consider very particular situations, fairness itself generally boils down to equal treatment. But what does this mean?
Let's say the pie is being sliced, and there are a bunch of folks sharing it. Strict adherence to "equality" could mean measuring out equally sized pieces. But what if some of the people present are tiny and others giant? What if some have eaten glutonously and others are starving? What if some want a smaller piece than the average?
Equal treatment means differt things in different contexts, as does fairness.
Some folks here personally object to terms primary/secondary/tertiary (which have been popularized in the poly discourse) because they can easily be taken to rank people in importance, or because they can easily be taken to rank people in love, or in value, or in decision-making power, or... or.... What we were exploring is whether we can find words that don't come pre-laden with the baggage (connotations) which primary/secondary/tertiary come laden with. We were not attempting to enforce alternative words/labels..., to impose them on "the community" (what community?).
In my case, when I take on a lover, our hearts are connected such that I'm with and for them utterly. This will be so if one of my partners can't spend as much time with me as the other/s. It's just how I love. I love equally. I really do.