Sourgirl's description/analogy of a step-father is one that works for me.
My children's "secondary" father is more important in their lives than their "primary" father ever was.
He's not less than though.
Just as a "secondary" partner would not be less than my primary partner.
I understand that many people have been treated badly by others who have denoted them *secondary* and *disposable* but I think that rather than just rejecting out of hand a term, find out what the term means to the people involved, and whether the parameters of that term are fixed or fluid.
IE: I don't have a lot of time right now. I don't want another live in lover. So I am quite happy with someone who has/wants someone similar - who's looking for a secondary. But that may change... my life isn't stuck on one path.
Last edited by marksbabygirl; 08-29-2011 at 01:56 PM.