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Old 08-29-2011, 01:52 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Squamish, BC
Posts: 790
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Sourgirl's description/analogy of a step-father is one that works for me.

My children's "secondary" father is more important in their lives than their "primary" father ever was.

He's not less than though.

Just as a "secondary" partner would not be less than my primary partner.

I understand that many people have been treated badly by others who have denoted them *secondary* and *disposable* but I think that rather than just rejecting out of hand a term, find out what the term means to the people involved, and whether the parameters of that term are fixed or fluid.

IE: I don't have a lot of time right now. I don't want another live in lover. So I am quite happy with someone who has/wants someone similar - who's looking for a secondary. But that may change... my life isn't stuck on one path.
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Last edited by marksbabygirl; 08-29-2011 at 01:56 PM.
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