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Old 08-29-2011, 08:17 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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Ah, as advice goes, I also will chime in with the majority, that people read into what they see in print, in a very biased way.

I have seen people post things, with responses that seem SO out of whack "That guy is a selfish asshole!" "She is obviously using you!" "He is a manipulative bastard!" When I don't read that into the original posters comments one damn bit. People respond based on their own personal experiences. Maybe you sense this in some responses, maybe as others have said, you aren't hearing what you want to hear, or what you heard directed you into a decision that seemed contrary to what you were hearing so you think the advice is BS.

It is also possible you're biased on what you THINK people are saying based on how you planned on proceeding, and you don't like that it differs - case in point, I read a thread on fetlife yesterday, a situation that seemed similar to the one I, my partner, and his wife are in. While two days ago I was perfectly comfortable with what was going on (I thought) after reading this thread and the people's responses to it, I became sure that everybody in the world thought my actions were those of a horrible uncaring person. It took my husband reading it and giving me some feedback and objective input for me to realize that people giving advice when they don't have the whole picture of what is going on, is just that, people stabbing into the dark until we know what the full picture is. Even then, if somebody has had a negative experience with a certain dynamic, they might be prone to give subjective advice that isn't useful to you as an individual.

Bottom line - this forum has all sorts of personalities, and lots of good advice. Sometimes it isn't fuzzy and warm, sometimes it is off based until more details are uncovered, but I don't think I've seen yet anybody giving advice hoping that it made somebody anything less than better off than before the input was given.

(edit: I would've given input on the original post, but just incase you aren't going to read it I figured I would keep it to myself! )
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