I'm getting dizzy from reading this thread. How many circles can we talk in at once? I think almost everyone who has replied has said essentially the same thing (and I'm paraphrasing here), "I do what I want for my own reasons, and everyone else is of course entitled to do the same". At least we all agree on that, unfortunately nobody asked anyone if they used the term secondary and why. The original post had four questions and almost nobody has even attempted to answer them.
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
1. Can we as a community find a word that conveys the concept without all the negative baggage?
2. Or is it just inevitable that the way people so often mishandle their relationships with newer partners will taint any word associated with the concept?
3. Has anyone tried to come up with a new system of talking about these things before?
4. Should it just be unique to every set of relationships (that would make it really hard to easily discuss things as a community...)?
1. After having read through all of this I would have to say no. It seems to be too emotional of an issue on both sides.
2. Yes, I think it's inevitable that even if just a few people continue to make mistakes with new partners it will taint any word, because everyone always remembers your screw ups but quickly forgets your successes.
3. Not that I know of, but since no one has attempted to answer this I'll guess, no.
4. It seems that it already is unique to every set of relationships, and isn't likely to change anytime soon.