Wow. A huge number of very valuable responses. Thank you so much.
There is enough here that I'm going to need to move to my pc to respond - the original was on my phone, but it handles a lot of stuff (quoting, copy/paste, etc) poorly.
The short version is thus... My wife and I are talking (and talking and talking) about it. She is also reading these forums, and a large driver for the OP is a result of digging through the proverbial muck. A lot more to say, I'll get to work on that shortly. For now, I'll just say .. Thank you!