Originally Posted by Carma
But if he's going to have a "girlfriend," he's not going to treat her like a piece of meat. He says kind words, he says loving things, because he knows that's what a girl likes to hear. Personally I wish he'd just stick to sex talk and sending naked pictures back and forth. He's taking this too far. I don't think he knows how else to do it.
You know, I'm currently in an "open" relationship, not one that's describing itself as poly. And what you've described is sort of our rules about what we do with other people: sex talk, sexting, hot pictures, keep it sex-related, don't say the l-word. Fuck buddies, not relationships.
I recently got into a situation where my sex-only buddy has turned into something else, and I feel a need to express, well, affection? tenderness? It's for this reason that I'm looking into poly.
All I'm saying is: is it necessarily bad that he is trying to say loving things? I can definitely understand when you say that he doesn't really know how to "woo" a girl any other way.
I guess I'm asking: is it his affectionate manner really what's bothering you, or is it something else? Are you worried he is lying to you about the intent of his relationship with her? Are you feeling regretful that you and your boyfriend don't interact with that same affection?