Originally Posted by Irena
... but I can say this: nobody's relationship is perfectly stable and healthy, not before trying polyamory, not during the opening-up process, not afterward. Polyamory will almost certainly bring out problems in your relationship you didn't know you had. I take that as one of its benefits, since it creates an opportunity to grow in ways you might not have done otherwise. The pitfall to avoid is using a new relationship to escape or evade the problems of the old one.
When we loosen our grip on our idealizations, when we make a moment-by-moment commitment to healing and growth, loving and appropriate forgiveness, when we deeply realize that we can choose to turn on a dime, over and over again, as a practice..., the world begins to shine. Our lives shine. Our relationships shine. Evasion of important matters never works, and self-and-other forgiveness is a powerful healing commitment worthy of our best ....