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Old 08-28-2011, 11:45 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,944

Well, even from the viewpoint I posted, you and Kevin could of course declare your relationship polyamorous whether you have any additional partners or not, because you were open to it and that's what you wanted. I don't really think it's as important for anyone, single, couple, or triple, to "figure out" if they "can be defined as polyamorous" as it is to make their relationships work in the ways they want.

My answer was really just to offer another option between ID'ing as poly or ID'ing as mono, since that's what the OP was asking:
Originally Posted by SelfDiscovery View Post
Yes, some people say, I identify as poly. Others say they are mono.

But, what is in between? Is there an in between? I'm trying to figure that out. Reading here, it all seems so cut and dry. You must be poly if you can conduct multiple romantic relationships.
It works for me to look at poly the way I do. It is an alternate viewpoint from ID'ing as hard-wired poly or mono, and if I say I am poly (which I don't really tend to say) I mean poly relationships are what I choose. I am more inclined to word it that I want to "live polyamorously." This may work for others, but it doesn't have to exclude anyone who wants a poly relationship but doesn't yet have one.

I just think the important part for the OP is to find out how to have what he wants in relationships, how to bring the kinds of relationships he wants into fruition in his life, and not to worry too much about whether or not he can "confidently" claim to be poly.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 08-28-2011 at 11:56 PM.
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