hear you on these thoughts NYC,
I've considered myself someone exploring the world that some people would call single poly or solo poly, in that I've not had a primary partner, and I've not really wanted a primary partner type set up.
Yes...I think it is still the case that single women are considered to be fucking around. I was seeing someone for quite a while...he lived with his girlfriend. Some of my friends would say "oh...but one day you may have a real boyfriend". I'd been seeing him for 8 months, we were very publicly a couple. Yet, some of my friends did not consider it a "real" relationship simply because he lived with his girlfriend. I found that pretty difficult...I think I was thought of a side dish. It was quite insulting.
Now, the flip side is I've recently fallen very deeply in love...and he is someone I want to keep for my life. I had completely forgotten what this feels like. Woawww...big...big feelings.
And now I'm facing;
oh....she will settle down now that she is in love. or...
It was only ever a matter of time...now that true love is there. or...
It was a phase surely...
My mother is delighted....as now she thinks there is someone to look after me, and she won't have to keep up with more than one name....and I feel like screaming..."Well, the people with the other names also look after me !"
So, yes....I think un-coupled people in this realm certainly face different challenges.
It sometimes prompts me to feel this;
So, if I'm in a primary relationship and my partner is ok with open/poly/FWB (insert appropriate word) relationships...then that seems ok on some level and acceptable. Another party has validated that. But if I'm ok with it on my own, as a value and trust my own judgement and decision making...then somehow that is not up to scratch....as no one has validated that and perhaps I'm some poor lonely sad person who is desperately seeking love, sex and validation..
Oh, Please !!