Thank you, everyone, for your responses. They have been insightful, even when your value judgments and mine may differ.
I will say this: taking time to be gentle with myself, allow myself to go slowly and heal is an excellent idea, and one I will be trying to implement. I will also be paying attention to enriching my own life, separate from my partners, so that I have more to offer myself and them in the future. Allowing myself to remember what is right for me, and why, is important, and I will be trying to take care of myself, so that I don't get quite so caught up in trying to be what my partners want to the possible exclusion of what ~I~ want. I think that's a good start, if a bit of a tall order.