OK HOLD THE BUS!!!!
First RP you know better then to think your not wanted here.This is a public forum and as such when anyone writes here they should expect( hope for) an array of differing opinons. It makes no sense to hear the same advice over and over.
No one can be expected to give solid advice with out understanding the question. RP simply asked you to be clearer so she could help.If you have truely read the posts by RP then you would know she would only spend her time replying to the "NEWBIES" as you put it in order to be of usefulness.
And now you have LR fired up( not a good thing IMO) I was going to share with you but I have to agree that you need to check yourself at the loggin. Purposfully hurting is not tolerated on this board( nor should it be anywhere else).
I can see that your hurting and that your not sure how to deal with this all but honestly you should pull back and regroup your feelings. Dont bite the hands that feed you sort a thing.
" NO WORDDIES BE HAPPY"- My 2 year old baby girl