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Old 08-27-2011, 06:55 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by Chimera View Post
You're saying people should just accept uncomfortable words, word that make them feel less than? So you'd ask us to put up with a whole lot of hate words in this society right now?
"Secondary" is not a hate term, nor has it ever been. It is a descriptor, nothing more nor less. Any baggage people bring to it themselves cannot be laid at the feet of the word--they have to take responsibility for their own shit.

"Secondary" has negative connotations of "less than" in our society.
Nope. Unless, you're intending that as a measure of amount, as in "a secondary source of income" referring to a smaller income source, that is incorrect. Even in that instance, noting the lesser amount of income does not indicate that source as being of less importance to an operation.

You may add extra meaning to the term when you use it; not everybody does.

Hierarchy isn't "natural." We don't have to give in to rankings, competition, less than, more than.
It certainly is natural. Do you spend an equal amount of time with each and every friend you have? No? You spend much more time with some than with others? That is the natural order of things--and it's hierarchical.

If you don't like the descriptors "primary" and "secondary," then don't use them. Use something like "base" and "additional" or "daily" and "occasional" or "live-in" and "outpatient" or some other combination of descriptors that works.

Trying to assign baggage you carry to perfectly good terms that other folks are happy to use is entirely your issue, however.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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