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Old 10-26-2009, 12:09 AM
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Legion Legion is offline
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My ideal relationship would be more aptly described as a series of interconnectivities between individuals, of which I would be one.

In this relationship is everyone that I love to some extent, and for each of these people from their own perception is everyone they love. I envision it like little gossamer tendrils of energy attaching me to those I think about and love. Some strands are brighter and stronger than others but each is a living thing that can be nurtured to a healthier state or neglected until it withers and dies.

I would have my lovers, and in turn they would have their own. Ideally, I would want the abcense of one of my lovers to be filled by another, or perhaps there would be times when I choose to be alone and they would occupy themselves with other lovers or activities. I hope to be like the river, if a stone is removed, the space is filled. If a stone is added, the space is respected and flowed around. Strong and flowing love, flexible, patient and quietly constant no matter the circumstances.

I like to think I'm practicing this now, trying to love those around me constantly, but being respectful in my interactions with them, not pushing into their space by forcing them to accept my love. Rather it is a thing that is there if/when they choose it, and it is there but not invasive if they choose to turn to other things/people.

That is who I hope to be in the relationship. Whom I hope to be in the situation is not specific other than the people I already love. Their characteristics are varied. The main thing I would like to see is me NOT causing them a bunch of pain and anguish because that has been my main problem in the past. Because I pretty much never find poly girls to be with, they are always mono and I tell them how I am and I've had someone point out that the formula usually goes they are okay with it at first, until they actually start to care about me more deeply then they want me "all to themselves".
So I guess who they are in the ideal relationship is less possessive or whatever it is that they are experiencing that causes such frustrated desires. I would like to have partners who accept that I may want to be somewhere else or with someone else at times.
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Often he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been rent asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him...and he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.
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