Hey now, River. To me, "secondary" is a very useful term in that it describes a real and prevalent type of relationship. We can be equal in love and in respect but we can't always play the same roles in each other's lives. Maybe we as a community could find a term with less baggage, but we need some way to talk about the fact that we have different levels of entanglement in each other's lives. Different types of partnerships. To me, secondary means a relationship where you're serious and an important part of each other's lives but probably not formally committed and not making life decisions in a building-our-lives-as-a-unit type way.
Are you really saying you'd never be in such a relationship? Or that we shouldn't have a way to talk about the issues and questions that naturally come with such a relationship?
Or am I completely misunderstanding the word?
This may be a topic for the General Discussion board...