By the way, this story exemplifies why I'd never, ever, ever want to be anyone's "secondary". If I am in love with someone who is in love with me, I'd want -- and insist upon -- equal status with my other Sweet's partner/s. Why should one of them get to decide how I can be with my love, without my equal participation in that decision?
Some folks will insist that "secondaries" are not that, exactly. But look around at how they behave and decide for yourself.
"Secondary" is almost always a ranking system. That's fine for those who want to come in second class, but not me.