Thread: Turnabout
View Single Post
Old 08-25-2011, 07:05 PM
Carma's Avatar
Carma Carma is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post

I suspect, he was looking for an excuse to exit the conversation anyway. Give him a better alternative (even if gf hadn't called), let him know it's OK to say "I just can't discuss this over the phone anymore, I need a break. Can we pick it up when I get home?". Such conversations are difficult face to face and even more so over the phone, while driving.

The only reason he would have been feeling this way is if he were feeling guilty about the little white lies he's been telling all along that he has no intention of 'fessing up to! Because otherwise, discussions about honesty are usually some of his favorites -- because he so desperately wants 100% from ME and we are brutal, on MY side of the truth, anyway!


"I think I would ask him if the lies are his way of getting revenge for the past or does he really think your marriage should continue to be based on lies and lack of trust. I realize it's probably not that simple, but it took similar harsh words for things to click for my husband about how much damage his "little white lies" were doing to us. He truly didn't see it the same and couldn't understand why I was so bent out of shape. We still struggle with omission of facts and I have to play 20 questions if I suspect that's the case (it's not always intentional)."

I am freaked out by it, because I don't WANT to play detective in our marriage. Fuck that,I know what you mean about the 20 questions -- sometimes I'm tempted to play it, but others I just refuse to live that way. I'd rather live with the fucking lies than demean myself to go digging for the truth.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
Reply With Quote